Boyfriend, Girlfriend

I had heard some of the children using the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" here and there and would ask them what the words meant. Usually the answer (which is standard around here for just about any question) was, "I don't know." Sometimes they would say, "It's a boy that is a friend."

Well, Hubby and I decided several years ago that in our home dating would be for the purpose of marriage. In other words, when our children feel God is telling them they are at a point in their lives where they are ready to marry, and when God brings someone into their lives that could be a potential mate, then they would spend time with that person ("date") to get to know them.

I used to think this was a ridiculous idea and bought into arguments like: "Well how will you know what you want in a mate?" or "Don't you want to know what else is out there?" "You don't want to look back and think you missed out on something."

Why? God knows what we need in a mate. And knows who is best for us. So why waste time dating around? Why give your heart away mulitple times to other people before finally giving it to your spouse? If I could go back and do it again, I would absolutely save my heart for my hubby. Why subject ourselves to being emotionally attached to a guy or girl that we will have no contact with the rest of our lives. And even if we do, what's the point? Our hearts should be reserved for Jesus and then for the spouse that He has for us.


So, I first talked with #1. I asked her if kids in her Sunday School talked about boyfriends and girlfriends. She said they did. And I explained that the time to have a boyfriend or girlfriend is when you are actually ready to get married. So she asked me what she should say if someone asks her if she has a boyfriend or why she doesn't. I just told her she can tell them that having a boyfriend is for when she's ready to get married and that she's way to young to get married.

Then we shared our conversation with the boys. It made perfect sense to all of them and I haven't heard them talking about it since.