Labels: Great for Organizing, Not for Kids!

Labels are great when you're trying to get organized. You sort, purge, assign a home, containerize and then stick a label on those containers so everyone knows what's inside and anyone can easily put things back where they belong. It's a great little tool.

Unfortunately, we have a tendency to label our children as well. And this is not great. We use labels such as "bossy", "strong-willed", "shy", "hard", "lazy", "ADD", "outspoken", etc. to describe our children. We make excuses like, "She's just like her father" or "Boys will be boys" which also label them.

Our children will live up to the labels or expectations we place on them. Labels limit our children's potential. When they hear themselves described that way enough, they see no reason to try to do better. Something as simple as "poor-speller" gives them something to settle for, instead of striving to meet a higher standard.

We even have to be careful with labels that are neutral or sound positive. In school one of my brothers excelled in math. He was advised by someone once that that was the area in which he should concentrate for his career. God had different plans. As a pre-teen, He called Larry into full-time ministry. He is an assistant pastor at a church in Virginia, fulfulling God's expectations for him.

We have a child that truly is strong-willed. But I'm not going to limit him with a label that says he can't learn to submit to authority. This child is going to change the world. He has strong convictions and it is my job to give him the right convictions. I'm also not going to limit myself as a parent and use the excuse that he's not able to learn to obey the scripture that says, "Children obey your parents in everything" and "Honor your father and mother." When I do that, I take away the blessing that God promises him and I fail.

We have a child who is naturally a leader. There is a tendency to label this type of child as "bossy". And she very well could be. But instead of allowing her to be bossy, we are teaching her how to lead as Jesus did.

One of our children is very talkative. So we have to teach him how to use his words to glorify and honor God and to build others up. We've also taught him "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds is tongue is wise." I'm working on that one myself!

My point is, if you see a negative characteristic in your child, find the positive. Work on minimizing their weaknesses and maximizing their strengths. Study your children. Learn what they need help with and help them. If they need extra training in an area - like diligence, sharing, table manners - spend some time on it. And do it for their benefit, not yours!

Teach them no matter what they struggle with or even what they excell in, they are here for a purpose. That is to worship, honor and glorify God. When they learn to seek to fulfill God's expectations, God's plan for their lives, that is when they have succeeded.