Labels: Great for Organizing, Not for Kids!

Labels are great when you're trying to get organized. You sort, purge, assign a home, containerize and then stick a label on those containers so everyone knows what's inside and anyone can easily put things back where they belong. It's a great little tool.

Unfortunately, we have a tendency to label our children as well. And this is not great. We use labels such as "bossy", "strong-willed", "shy", "hard", "lazy", "ADD", "outspoken", etc. to describe our children. We make excuses like, "She's just like her father" or "Boys will be boys" which also label them.

Our children will live up to the labels or expectations we place on them. Labels limit our children's potential. When they hear themselves described that way enough, they see no reason to try to do better. Something as simple as "poor-speller" gives them something to settle for, instead of striving to meet a higher standard.

We even have to be careful with labels that are neutral or sound positive. In school one of my brothers excelled in math. He was advised by someone once that that was the area in which he should concentrate for his career. God had different plans. As a pre-teen, He called Larry into full-time ministry. He is an assistant pastor at a church in Virginia, fulfulling God's expectations for him.

We have a child that truly is strong-willed. But I'm not going to limit him with a label that says he can't learn to submit to authority. This child is going to change the world. He has strong convictions and it is my job to give him the right convictions. I'm also not going to limit myself as a parent and use the excuse that he's not able to learn to obey the scripture that says, "Children obey your parents in everything" and "Honor your father and mother." When I do that, I take away the blessing that God promises him and I fail.

We have a child who is naturally a leader. There is a tendency to label this type of child as "bossy". And she very well could be. But instead of allowing her to be bossy, we are teaching her how to lead as Jesus did.

One of our children is very talkative. So we have to teach him how to use his words to glorify and honor God and to build others up. We've also taught him "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds is tongue is wise." I'm working on that one myself!

My point is, if you see a negative characteristic in your child, find the positive. Work on minimizing their weaknesses and maximizing their strengths. Study your children. Learn what they need help with and help them. If they need extra training in an area - like diligence, sharing, table manners - spend some time on it. And do it for their benefit, not yours!

Teach them no matter what they struggle with or even what they excell in, they are here for a purpose. That is to worship, honor and glorify God. When they learn to seek to fulfill God's expectations, God's plan for their lives, that is when they have succeeded.

VBS & Genesis 2:18

"Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone;

I will make him a helper fit for him.'"

I am learning how to be a better wife this week in VBS. Weird, I know. Allow me to explain. I'm in charge of leading a group of 12-14 kindergartners (depending on the day). I also have 2-3 helpers. One of my helpers wasn't good at helping or following my lead to be exact. She wanted to lead. For instance, the first day I put each of us leaders/helpers in charge of keeping up with 3 children each. What I mean is, when we transitioned from the sanctuary to craft to Bible to recreation to snack and then back to the sanctuary, we only needed to keep an eye on 3 kids each. I should mention there are over 1,000 children at VBS this week and whole grades transition at the same time.

Anyway, the second day we were short a helper and had 2 extra kids so I needed to add to our original 3 each to keep up with. This helper (who wanted to lead) thought we should just pick all new groups and proceeded to tell the kids who they were going to go with. Not that big of a deal really, but I didn't want the kids to get confused and wanted to change as little as possible. So I had to nix her idea and reexplain mine. This kind of thing happened a few times the first 2 days and well, too many chiefs...

So I had an opportunity today to trade her for a teen helper. The teen helper was one of 3 teens leading a kindergarten group that did not have an adult and they were pretty much - how do I say it nicely - worthless. The teens were too busy socializing and texting to pay attention to the children. They needed a leader and I needed to get rid of one.

This new 12 year old girl was just the opposite. She initiated no action or help whatsoever. She didn't talk to the kids. She didn't do anything except stand or sit. However, when I asked her to do something, she did it and didn't come up with her own ideas of how it should be done. So in that way it was better.

You ask, "What does this have to do with Genesis 2:18?" Everything! My husband needs a helper not another leader. Of course, when he's not around, I need to take charge of the house and children. Although, ultimately, my "leading" should be fulfilling his wishes for our house and family. But when he is around, he's the "lead dog". See an earlier post if you haven't read this illustration yet. I am to follow his lead and help him out. If he says he wants something done, I don't need to sit around like a bump on a log. I need to figure out how to accomplish it without taking it over and making it mine.

Who knew there would be such good stuff for me to learn this week at VBS.

Quirky Things About Me

I've been tagged and must tell you 6 quirky things about myself. You've all probably got a list of my quirks just flowing out of your minds but here are the ones I could think of...

1. I am ridiculously nutty about how my laundry is done! I realize it's a sickness and I'm working on it. Baby steps.

2. I have this thing about sorting colors (more laundry talk). Like all my extra buttons are organized by color and the thumb tacks on my bulletin board are in a straight line along the edge of the board sorted by color. My clothes in my closet are sorted by color and season - all sleeveless black shirts together, etc. Now that does not mean everything in my house is like that. After all, there are 6 other people living here. I can't do it all, people! :)

3. I don't like noise. You'd think I'd be over that one. I can handle it for short periods.

4. I have conversations in my head. When my children interrupt them, I want to say, "Don't interrupt, please. Can't you tell I'm talking?"

5. I always have a song in my head, too. It could be the first one I heard for the day or who knows. Right now I have one from someone's blog I just visited. Sometimes the song starts making me crazy, and I'll have to start thinking of a new one. Kind of like changing the station.

6. If there's a bug in the room, I will find it. Even if I'm asleep.

So there you have it. Quirky me.

3 out of 5

I love rain! I love the fact that we get a repreave from the scorching sun and my ac unit gets a rest. I love the free irrigation.

I love thunderstorms. And hurricane season competes with Fall as one of my favorites - probably because it means Hubby can't go to work if there's one coming our way.

Well, last night was a doozy of a storm. #1 came in our room around 2 a.m. and woke me from my dream that had something to do with the crazy lightening that sounded like it was on top of the house. Then I realized I left the phone out on the porch under the gazebo. When I came back upstairs, three of the kids were in our bed - all a little nervous from the very loud thunder and the cracking of the lightening. I told them I love storms because they remind me of God's power. They make me think of how incredibly awesome and in control He is. This is so comforting to me.

Here comes another storm now...ahhhh

Science & Snakes

I haven't officially been teaching the kids science in school. I do have something for next year.

Unofficially, we've raised hundreds of butterflies, explored the woods behind the house, made a home for our pet squirrel, read lots of ZooBooks magazines, dissected a snake that was road kill by our mailbox and caught several snakes to live with us for a couple of days. This is our current capture in our aquarium - a garter snake.

The next picture is #2 releasing a black racer.

Next is #1 so professionally handling a small rat snake.

And last, me 2 years ago, with another rat snake from the neighbors' yard.

Picture Taking

Having the kids' pictures taken used to be so stressful. And it's still not a breeze when you think about washing and ironing 5 sets of clothes; coordinating baths and getting hair done.

What used to stress me out was trying to get everyone to look in the same direction and smile. I got over having to have them all smile and was content to just have them all looking. But I have learned that even when the pictures don't seem "picture perfect", later I will look back and love them anyway - like this one taken of the first 3 kids when I was pregnant with #4. It cracks me up!

Good Grief!

Hubby had a basil cell the size of a nickel removed from his back last week. He's having the 30 or so stitches (3 1/2 inches) removed this morning.