Decisions, Decisions

Can I just encourage any wife who reads this blog? If you struggle with a decision that needs to be made, ask your husband.

I have been mulling over something for the past 3 days, thinking I knew what I wanted to do about it just not sure exactly how to go about it. I'm being aloof with details to protect the one I mulling about.

Anyway, I've discussed it with my Hubby several times but never actually asked, "What should I do about it?" Until today.

Guys can take the emotion out of something and just make it so simple. He told me what he thinks need to be done and I'm going to do it. The stress is gone. I have such a peace about it now.

God gave us our husbands to lead and protect us. Let them. Then let go of whatever it is you're trying to control. It is so freeing.

The Results Are In...

UPDATED!

Here are the results from my previous post. Thank you, ladies, for your witty and kind responses that I can pass along.

Question:
"Are they all yours?"

Answers:
"Last time I checked."

"I'll know for sure when the maternity test comes back."

"Every single one of these blessings is mine."

Question:
"Don't you know what causes that?"

Answers:
"Why...don't you?"

"Yeah! And we're good at it!"

"Yes and we're getting very good at it. Need just a little more practice."

"No." Look very confused and wait for the response. It's usually a good one.

"Nope! And I hope I don't find out cause I'd love to have more."

Question:
"When are you going to stop?" or "How many do you want to have?"

Answers:
"We'll stop when we have an ugly one." The idea being that parents never think their kids are ugly.

"We're just trying to keep up with our neighbors' bunnies!"

"Those bunny rabbits don't have a thing on us!"

Comment:
"You have your hands full."

Answer:
"Their not as full as our hearts."

"We are very blessed."

Hey Jealousy

(Can you just hear the Gin Blossoms right now?)

Yes, jealousy is wrong. But admittedly I'm green with envy over all the announcements of my friends and family who are pregnant. And I just found out one is having twins!

Some of you are thinking, "You have five. Be happy." Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy. But I'm a womb-carrying human being and I think it's okay to want to use it.

Isn't it ironic? (Boy, I'm full of songs today - Alanis Morissette, now. I'll get spiritual here eventually.) Isn't it ironic that 13 years ago I never wanted any kids? And when I did start having them, I thought anyone with 3 was amazing. When our 4th child was a baby, I met a woman who at the time had 11 children (now 12). That was the day I quit talking about how many kids I had, as if it was soooo many. I realized you will always meet someone who has more and will think you are crazy for complaining about how few (in comparison) you have. Not to mention everytime you have one more, you realize how easy it really was when you had one less.

That said (and with great digression from what I'm really supposed to be posting about), I'm on assignment. It seems that as soon as you get pregnant with your 3rd child you start hearing comments like, "Don't you have cable?" or "Don't you know how this happens?"

For the most part these comments have never bothered me. The only one that ever did get me was when a man said to Hubby, "That's too many kids." I didn't hear him. If I had, I would have asked him which one he would want us to give back.

Anyway, some expectant moms are annoyed, irritated or down-right insulted by any comment that they shouldn't be having more children. So I need your help. I promised I would help out one of my lucky preggo pals. I'm looking for a few good and kind one-liners or ways that you have politely responded to those members of society, church, wherever, who don't know that God calls children a blessing, a reward.

Psalm 127
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

Here's an example of one of my favorites - Mrs. Fittro (mother to 5) told me this one once. Whenever anyone would ask her, "Don't you know how this happens?" she would answer with, "Yes, and we like it!" I love using that one.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Hard Times

What if we gave up when things got too hard? There are plenty of times I've been ready to do just that.

But isn't it the hard things in life that make us better people?

James says, "Count it all joy...when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Trials, hard times, and struggles will test our faith. If we say we trust in God, our faith should be strengthened through these circumstances in our lives. Then through that strengthening, steadfastness is produced. If we are steadfast, we will be unwavering, fixed in our direction, firm in our purpose.

Here's the problem. We say we believe a lot of things about God. Only our lives don't prove it.

What we really believe is what we actually live. I don't mean what others see us live. I mean what God sees us live.

If we say we believe He is in control, why don't we trust Him to take care of us? Why do we try to control so much ourselves?

If we say we believe He is sovereign, why don't we trust that he has a purpose for everything - the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, the passing of a loved one. He works all things together for good for those who love Him. We say that. But do we believe it?

My child can say he trusts me to catch him if he jumps into the pool, but he doesn't prove he trusts me until he jumps.

Proof of our faith comes in trials, hard times.

If you admire someone because of their strong faith, know they got it because God allowed circumstances in their lives that were not easy. And maybe they didn't always pass with flying colors but they learned from what they went through. They learned that God had a purpose for every instance.

You see we all have trials, but not all of us learn from them. We either don't take responsibility for our part - blame others or society - or we don't run to Him to show us His purpose. We don't seek to grow through it.

Think about the biggest brat you've ever seen on one of those nanny shows. Aren't they that way because they got everything they wanted? They didn't have to suffer by doing chores, by putting others first, by using self-control to do what was right even if they didn't want to. Kids who are great, have learned to do what is right even when it's hard.

My oldest doesn't care for math. She's good at it but doesn't like it. I tell her at this point in her life, this is her hard thing. And if she can learn to do it without complaining (aloud or in her heart), then she will be a better person. She can learn that the next hard thing will make her even stronger. Then when something really hard comes along, she'll be able to face it with steadfastness, with unwavering faith in her loving Creator.

Life is hard. It is okay. If it was easy, think of what worthless people we would be. We get to learn patience, perseverance, trust, contentment, all kinds of great qualities that ultimately make us more like Christ.

Isn't that what it's really all about anyway? Who wants to stay the way they are? We can look at hard times as an inconvenience, a bump in the road, a time to wallow in self-pity, or we can "count it all joy" and ask God to show us how we can come out looking more like His Son, "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Favorites

Yesterday as everyone was loading up to leave for church, I found Handsome crying in the car and saying he was hungry. I thought it was odd that he was crying about that, but I told him to go inside really quick and grab something. On his way out of the car he threw up - all over the garage floor. Thank you, Lord, it wasn't in the car! We all unloaded and stayed home to spare spreading any germs we may be carrying.


Whenever anyone is sick we lay a mattress in our bathroom floor and they get to hang out (be quarantined) in there watching movies on the portable tv until they are better.


One time when I went in to check on him and I said, "You know you're one of my favorites, right?" With a shy grin he said, "Yeah."


Of course, I tell each of them they are my favorites, but I think he might be the one that believes it the most.

PMS is REAL! (This post is for Women only)

I know some of you women out there don't have a clue what it's like to have PMS but I do! Let me tell you it is not a myth. It is real.

I've been dealing with hormones for a looonnnggg time now! What bugs me is they are never consistent. So I can't always plan on it. Sometimes it's bad when I ovulate, sometimes before "my friend" arrives, sometimes during "her" visit. Sometimes I break out, sometimes I don't. Sometimes it's slight, sometimes it's major.

I actually allow 2-3 days off a month from school just for the days I wake up and know "I will not be a good teacher today."

I thought they had gotten better but for the last three days I have been mad! And I didn't even know what I was mad about. Tuesday Hubby asked me if I needed to talk about anything. I told him I was ticked off at everyone and everything. I have yelled at the kids so much, I overheard the World Changer saying, "Why is she always yelling so much?"

I kept saying, "God, just tell me what the heck I'm so angry about so I can get over it!" For some dumb reason I didn't check the calendar to see if it was time for my period. I was ready, however, to jump out a window or call an exorcist, whichever would have been easiest!

Thankfully we were out of the house a good portion of Wednesday and Thursday. My mom asked if I wanted her to stay at the house Thursday instead of me taking the kids out for our field trip. I said, "No, I can't yell at them in public, so we'll be fine."

Last night I finally felt better. And have been fine since. It's literally like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Hubby tells me I am a completely different person. Thankfully, I don't always yell like I did this week - this was a particularly bad "episode." Sometimes I'm just a little on edge and irritable and sometimes, like I said before, I actually want to jump out of a window. Of course, I wouldn't do that because I keep at least enough rationale to realize that that would really hurt! Ouch!

Anyway, I gave a nice apology to the kids this morning along with a science lesson about women and hormones. My boys are going to know more about this stuff than their wives probably!

(P.S. Yes, I've had my hormones checked in the past and had uneven levels. I've adjusted my diet and that didn't seem to affect it. I honestly believe I need to get my behind to the gym again. I've been slacking the last 3 months and I think that could be a reason I had such a tough time.)

Beyond the Gates of Splendor

One day last week during Bible-time, we read a story about Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Pete Fleming, Ed McCully and Roger Youdarian who were missionaries in Ecuador in the 1950s. After I read it and we talked about it, I told the kids I had a video about these guys called "Beyond the Gates of Splendor" that we could watch after school.

I couldn't wait. We watched it right away.

Although I had watched the movie twice before, I kept getting names and faces mixed up and had a hard time following it. It is narrated by Nate Saint's son and the 5 missionaries' wives. Now that I had just read the story to the kids, it all made a lot more sense to watch and I was able to get so much more out of it.

Oh, the love these men and women lived out. I will try to make the story short. In the 1950s, five young, growing families all lived at separate bases in Ecuador. At some point, the men decided they wanted to reach a tribe of people known for their relentless killing of each other. One would kill another, so a family member of the one killed would kill the killer. On and on it went. The children of the tribe knew they would grow up to be speared to death or spear someone else to live. No one wanted to have anything to do with them...except these Jesus-following men from the States.

They started by using a small aircraft to drop "gifts" to the tribe and eventually landed on a small beach and befriended 3 of the tribe members. One day two of those tribe members got in trouble for going off alone, so they lied and said it was the foreigners' fault. This, of course, angered the tribe and some of the men decided to kill the foreigners.

By this time the missionaries had a fort built up in a tree and had been on this small beach for 3 or 4 days. They had taken guns with them, but when the tribesmen came to kill them, they didn't even try to use them. Why?

The missionaries knew the men from the tribe were not ready to die because they would go to hell. But they knew they were ready and were willing to die in their place. They also knew that if they shot and killed the tribe members, it would be practically impossible to ever reach them for Jesus.

The result...the tribe was reached by a couple of the widows who stayed to continue the work. Fifty plus years later Nate Saint's son and family have been back to Ecuador to minister to the natives and teach them how to spread the Word to others. One of the men responsible for the killings is actually called grandfather by Mr. Saint's grandson.

What an example of love and forgiveness! What an example of dying to self! What a legacy to leave for the generations after them!

If you want to learn more, here is the website for the documentary: http://www.beyondthegatesthemovie.com/

UPDATE: "Beyond the Gates of Splendor" is a documentary. Karen reminded me of "At the End of the Spear" which is movie format of the events. I haven't seen it so can't say if it's okay for kids to watch or not. I'll be looking into it for myself, though. Thanks, Karen, for the reminder.

Our Story

Thirteen years ago today, I married the man of my dreams.

Here is our story:

In highschool, he went to the Christian academy that was associated with my church. I would sometimes go to soccer or basketball games with my friends from church who also went to the academy and would see him there (he played). Sometimes he would come to our church with his friends on Sunday nights. When I would see him walk in, I would pray that he would sit in front of me so I could shake his hand during the "shaking hand" time.

I had the biggest crush on him.

I was at his graduation in 1991 because I had friends graduating with him. In the little book that listed everyone's name and what they wanted to do after highschool, his said he wanted to be a youth pastor. I thought, "He's cute, cool and he loves God!" At that time in my mind those things didn't go together. At the reception, my sister's friend took a picture of him and I put in my request for a copy. That picture hung in my locker my senior year (until my current boyfriend came to school and made me take it down).

A year or two later, my sister and her friend saw him at a comedy club and reported how cute he was! My reply was, "I might as well quite lusting after this guy. I'm never going to get a date with him anyway."

In January 1995, I started attending our current church. I was in need of a change from where I had been. I knew he went there but that was not my purpose in going. I'm serious!! Besides, I was sure he had a girlfriend.

One Wednesday night, as I was walking toward the College and Career class, I was having this conversation with God about how my motives for switching churches were pure and I wasn't there to meet him. I think I was trying to keep from getting my hopes up. I hadn't even laid eyes on him yet.

Well, sure enough, he and a friend were outside the building next door trying to decide if they were going to go to another church that night. I won't say why they were going to do that, but it had something to do with there not being any girls at our church that they were interested in.

When he saw me walking toward the class, he decided to stay. Oh, my beating heart! There he was, in the flesh!! The class was set up in a circle and he sat right across from me. I didn't hear a word. The only thing I was paying attention to was whether he caught me looking at him or not.

On his way out that night, he introduced himself. I said, "I know who you are."

He asked me out for our first date Sunday morning, January 22, 1995. When I got home I told my parents that "I was keeping this one."

I was still going to my old church on Sunday nights so he met me there after the service. He was too nervous to eat so we picked up Taco Bell for me and watched a movie at his house.

Eight and a half months later we were all dressed up as bride and groom. I wasn't a bit nervous. But when they opened the doors and I saw him standing at the altar, he took my breath away. I started to shake and cry a little. Dad asked if I was okay. All I could say was, "He's so beautiful!"

I often say that I don't know why God gave him to me because I don't deserve him. But oh how thankful I am.

Happy Anniversary, Babe! I love you forever and always!

Get Well, Meme!

Hope these pictures brighten your day.

We're praying for you to have a speedy recovery.

Can't wait to see you Thursday!

God's Love

I have been a Christian since I was 6. When I met my future mate 14 years ago, however, is when I really began to realize what the Christian life is about. It's not rules and regulations, it's a daily relationship with Jesus Christ. Seeing that relationship in his life showed me how far I was missing the mark and inspired me to grow in my own relationship with the Lord.

Fastforward to this year - 2008. This year God has made it a point to help me understand even more what being a daughter of the King really means. He has put me in just the right places several times in the last 9 months to show me, prove to me, teach me, and fill me with His love.

It is easy for me to accept commands of the Bible. It has not been as easy for me to accept the promises of the Bible. Especially those about God's love. For example Psalm 139; I either think, "Well that was just for David" or I think, "Where did I go wrong?"

In my mind, I need to do more or be better in order to be acceptable to God, to be loved by Him. I have believed lies from the enemy. I have stunted my spiritual growth by doing so.

The truth is I cannot fully, unconditionally love others until I have understood the love of my Father. The truth is He loves me simply because I exist. I don't have to do a thing. That truth amazes me. It humbles me. It stills me.

I wonder who am I that He would be so purposeful this year in my life. His answer to me is that I am His child. I am His beloved. I am His.

Romans 8:39

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.