You've got to read this post by Breezy Tulip.
To me, it is so freeing because it lines up my priorities so quickly. I can make my decisions about what to add to my schedule or commitment list through the filter of have I done my first duty well? And I don't mean "well" according to worldly, feminist standards. I also don't mean you have to have a perfectly clean and decorated house, perfectly cooked meals, be perfectly fit, be perfectly selfless, etc.
I'm talking about God's standards. Am I pleasing Him? Or at least seeking to please Him in my home? in my marriage? in my children? Am I seeking to grow in my walk with Him? Am I teachable and willing to change to be more like Him? And then how do I apply that change to my first duty?
December 28, 2009
December 22, 2009
The Body of Christ
Have you ever looked at your foot and criticized it for not being able to write? Sound like a really stupid question? It is. But go with me on this.
Have you ever looked at your hands and judged them for not helping you breathe? Of course not! It's obsurd.
God designed our members (body parts) for specific purposes to serve our bodies. In the same way, He created each member of the body of Christ with his/her own purpose to serve that body.
So, just as it would make no sense to criticize an elbow for not serving our body as our eyes do, it would be ridiculous to criticize ourselves, our husbands, our children or our fellow Christians for not serving the body of Christ as someone else does or as we think they should.
We each have a function...
...some to minister through music.
...some to change diapers.
...some to encourage with notes in the mail.
...some to feed the homeless.
...some to live in foreign lands.
...some to homeschool.
...some to foster children.
...some to adopt special needs kids.
...some to organize large functions that bless many.
...some to minister one-on-one.
...some to take care of sick parents.
the list is practically endless.
This, of course, does not mean we are exclusive in our ministries. I can pick up objects with my toes. This is very helpful when I already have my hands full. (I know you really wanted to know this about me!) I have friends who minister through music and to the homeless.
And sometimes our functions change as the seasons in our lives change. A little over ten years ago I had no children in my home. It was my husband and me. In 5 1/2 years God gave us 5 children who are now my primary ministry along with my husband.
My point is this...whatever situation you are in, be content, and be thankful.
Be thankful for the way God made you but also be thankful for His creativity and variety in the way he made others who are different from you.
How I function as a member of the body of Christ, how I minister with His love, how I walk out my faith will differ from others. Not better. Not worse. Just different. And accepting the vast differences in the many members of the body of Christ is as sensible as accepting the differences in teeth and ears.
I'm thankful I've been reminded of this recently. And I want to pray for eyes that see myself soberly. For eyes that see the members of the body of Christ as individuals with gifts that differ according to the grace given to us. It's just makes sense.
Have you ever looked at your hands and judged them for not helping you breathe? Of course not! It's obsurd.
God designed our members (body parts) for specific purposes to serve our bodies. In the same way, He created each member of the body of Christ with his/her own purpose to serve that body.
So, just as it would make no sense to criticize an elbow for not serving our body as our eyes do, it would be ridiculous to criticize ourselves, our husbands, our children or our fellow Christians for not serving the body of Christ as someone else does or as we think they should.
We each have a function...
...some to minister through music.
...some to change diapers.
...some to encourage with notes in the mail.
...some to feed the homeless.
...some to live in foreign lands.
...some to homeschool.
...some to foster children.
...some to adopt special needs kids.
...some to organize large functions that bless many.
...some to minister one-on-one.
...some to take care of sick parents.
the list is practically endless.
This, of course, does not mean we are exclusive in our ministries. I can pick up objects with my toes. This is very helpful when I already have my hands full. (I know you really wanted to know this about me!) I have friends who minister through music and to the homeless.
And sometimes our functions change as the seasons in our lives change. A little over ten years ago I had no children in my home. It was my husband and me. In 5 1/2 years God gave us 5 children who are now my primary ministry along with my husband.
My point is this...whatever situation you are in, be content, and be thankful.
Be thankful for the way God made you but also be thankful for His creativity and variety in the way he made others who are different from you.
How I function as a member of the body of Christ, how I minister with His love, how I walk out my faith will differ from others. Not better. Not worse. Just different. And accepting the vast differences in the many members of the body of Christ is as sensible as accepting the differences in teeth and ears.
I'm thankful I've been reminded of this recently. And I want to pray for eyes that see myself soberly. For eyes that see the members of the body of Christ as individuals with gifts that differ according to the grace given to us. It's just makes sense.
December 21, 2009
Monday's Motto
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you
not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think,
but to think with sober judgment,
each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
For as in one body we have many members,
and the members do not all have the same function,
so we, though many, are one body in Christ,
and individually members one of another.
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them:
if prophecy, in proportion to our faith;
if service, in our serving;
the one who teaches, in his teaching;
the one who exhorts, in his exhortation;
the one who contributes, in generosity;
the one who leads, with zeal;
the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
Romans 12:3-8
I have more to say about these verses (this motto). Check back tomorrow...
December 19, 2009
Honest Scrap Award
I'm not really sure what it means, but I've been given the Honest Scrap Award! Just a fun little thing going around the blog-world.
Here are the rules:
1. Must thank the person who gave you the award and list their blog and link it.
2. Share "10 Honest things" about yourself.
3. Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4. Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.
So here we gooooooo.....
1. I would like to thank Tiffanie for this award. She's a wonderful friend; sweet, kind, generous and lots of fun to be around. I love lots of things about her, but what I love most is that she is no respecter of persons. She doesn't care who you are, where you're from, or what you look like. She will befriend anyone. If you're blessed to know her - even for a short time, you feel like you've known her your whole life. I could go on but I better get on with number 2, YIKES!
2. "10 Honest Things" about me (prepare yourself, this is long...):
a. I'm a book horder! I love books. I personally love reading Christian living books. I need lots of help, you know. But the hording mostly involves the kids' books. We recently had a used-book exchange. I have 4 - read it FOUR - Alice in Wonderland books, but I couldn't bring myself to give one up! I went to Goodwill to buy some for the exchange but ended up buying more for us.
b. I say "crap". And I don't think it makes me a bad person!
c. I want Kelly Ripa arms but I don't know if it will ever happen. Or my sister-in-laws arms! She's buff without trying.
d. I hated the word skinny in school. People/kids always pointed out how thin I was and wanted to put their fingers around my wrists to really see how thin they were. I only wore shorts in high school on half days. Which added up to maybe 3 times in four years. I didn't even say the word skinny until a few years ago. Now I don't care. You can call me skinny all you want!
e. I'm cheap. I trust God with our finances but money is connected to everything with me. If the kids aren't taking care of something, I'll say, "Do you know how much that costs?" or "You don't make enough money to replace that, so you better be careful with it."
I don't like shopping because I don't like spending money - except at Goodwill where I get my 39- and 59-cent books. But as cheap as I am, I don't mind giving money for those who need it because I know I'm giving it to Jesus.
f. I don't like wasting anything! Food, time and, of course, money! When I see plates of food being thrown away at parties, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I wear the same clothes for years!! I just keep wearing them. When my sweaters start to get a little knotty, I use a razor and shave off the fuzz balls. Voila! Good as new! Same with the 2 pair of dress slacks that I bought almost 6 years ago.
g. I could stay in my house and never leave. I'm a hermit at heart. Which leads to my next honest thing...
h. I'm a terrible friend. I don't say this to be self-depricating. I love my friends and I have the most awesome friends anyone could ask for. But I am not a good friend. I'm terrible at calling. I think about them and think about calling but it's never at a good time - either for them or me. I think about getting together but am terrible at planning it. My friends are very patient with me.
i. I can say the alphabet backwards. I memorized it because I have sleep issues. When I was a kid I would count to 20 to fall asleep. Then I had to count backward from 20. Now I count backward from 1,000 or recite the alphabet backwards (which doesn't work). Sometimes I go through the alphabet and say the names or attributes of God that I can think of that start with each letter.
j. I organize my closet by color (mostly in rainbow order). I have pants by color, sleeveless and short-sleeved shirts by color, then long-sleeved shirts by color. I don't have that many dresses and skirts to organize, so they're just separated by skirts and dresses.
I didn't know there was any other way to do it. One day I went to iron one of Roddy's work shirts for him but couldn't find his red section. This was after being married over 10 years. Obviously, I am a terrible wife too and don't put his clothes away for him nor do I iron enough for him. Anyway, shortly after that, I did reorganize his closet by color - which makes it much more enjoyable for me to put his clothes away.
3. I don't have 7 people to award this to because some have already been awarded but here is my list. One is private, so I will list it without linking.
My Ever-Thoughful Friend, Rebecca
December 18, 2009
Did He Cry?
Does anyone else have trouble sleeping after parties or, for that matter, any event involving other people?
I sure do. The lights go out and my mind starts going - reliving conversations and having them again with the words I should have said.
Last night I was so tired, I thought for sure I'd go straight to sleep. Yeah right!
I starting thinking about the confrontation with the food service lady. I asked God to help me forgive her. Then I tried to remember what I said that had made her flip out the way she did and act in such an unkind way toward me.
As soon as she had finished reaming me out, I had decided that I was going to find another place to serve. But as I was laying in bed (trying to sleep), I thought maybe I could just meet with or talk to the Volunteer Coordinator and try to work it out so that we wouldn't have to work with this particular person. Because I loved the fellowship I had shared with the ladies we served.
Then, all of a sudden, God said, "She needs Me, too."
I started to cry! I don't know exactly what broke the dam.
Was it the emotions I had held in all night?
Was it the feeling that I'd rather stay home in my comfort zone and not expose myself to that kind of treatment again?
Or was it forgiveness and God giving me a tenderness and compassion for this woman?
Maybe all of the above.
Now I wonder, did Jesus cry before He came to earth?
Had He anticipated the day with mixed emotions knowing what His stay here would entail? Knowing what He would be exposed to?
Did He consider staying in His comfort zone? Earth and a fleshly tent were certainly not comfortable!
Or did He cry with tenderness and compassion for us? Or with joy for what His journey would mean for all of mankind?
Oh what an example He has set before us. And it all began on what we celebrate as Christmas Day, Jesus' Birthday.
What gift will you give Him this year for all He has done for you?
Will it be your time? Your money? Better yet, will it be your heart? Your life? Your all?
I sure do. The lights go out and my mind starts going - reliving conversations and having them again with the words I should have said.
Last night I was so tired, I thought for sure I'd go straight to sleep. Yeah right!
I starting thinking about the confrontation with the food service lady. I asked God to help me forgive her. Then I tried to remember what I said that had made her flip out the way she did and act in such an unkind way toward me.
As soon as she had finished reaming me out, I had decided that I was going to find another place to serve. But as I was laying in bed (trying to sleep), I thought maybe I could just meet with or talk to the Volunteer Coordinator and try to work it out so that we wouldn't have to work with this particular person. Because I loved the fellowship I had shared with the ladies we served.
Then, all of a sudden, God said, "She needs Me, too."
I started to cry! I don't know exactly what broke the dam.
Was it the emotions I had held in all night?
Was it the feeling that I'd rather stay home in my comfort zone and not expose myself to that kind of treatment again?
Or was it forgiveness and God giving me a tenderness and compassion for this woman?
Maybe all of the above.
Now I wonder, did Jesus cry before He came to earth?
Had He anticipated the day with mixed emotions knowing what His stay here would entail? Knowing what He would be exposed to?
Did He consider staying in His comfort zone? Earth and a fleshly tent were certainly not comfortable!
Or did He cry with tenderness and compassion for us? Or with joy for what His journey would mean for all of mankind?
Oh what an example He has set before us. And it all began on what we celebrate as Christmas Day, Jesus' Birthday.
What gift will you give Him this year for all He has done for you?
Will it be your time? Your money? Better yet, will it be your heart? Your life? Your all?
December 17, 2009
God is Good...All the Time!
All the Time, God is Good!
I'm basking in the amazingness of my God!! The One True God!
You see, the devil showed up tonight!
In an attempt to ruin our evening of serving, he channeled himself through the food service manager at the WRCC. But God showed up and thankfully the Holy Spirit that lives is me was stronger than my flesh because I didn't fight back the way my flesh wanted to. All praise to Him.
Other than the rough start, the rest of the evening was awesome! I loved serving and spending time with the women and their kids. One of the moms said she was so thankful she could just sit and relax because normally they have to walk through the line themselves and get everything. Tonight they sat and we brought them whatever they needed.
We had about 20 adults and 30 kids volunteer so it was a little crazy and crowded but everyone was so great. They went with the flow and jumped in wherever they were needed - even the kids. They were such hard workers. I know several of the kids from different families were asking when they could come back and do it again!
The other highlight of the night was that we were able to give away some of Jackson's Bibles. We brought all of our Women's and Children's Bibles and ~drumroll, please~ 25 Women's Bibles and 16 Children's Bibles were taken...41 in all! Yea!!
One of the women told me that about 3 minutes before she walked into the dining room, she told her friend she needed a Bible!! She said, "I had no idea you would have them here." I said, "But God did!" This is the God we serve!! How personal and perfect is He?!
So the devil showed up, but God won!!
I'm basking in the amazingness of my God!! The One True God!
You see, the devil showed up tonight!
In an attempt to ruin our evening of serving, he channeled himself through the food service manager at the WRCC. But God showed up and thankfully the Holy Spirit that lives is me was stronger than my flesh because I didn't fight back the way my flesh wanted to. All praise to Him.
Other than the rough start, the rest of the evening was awesome! I loved serving and spending time with the women and their kids. One of the moms said she was so thankful she could just sit and relax because normally they have to walk through the line themselves and get everything. Tonight they sat and we brought them whatever they needed.
We had about 20 adults and 30 kids volunteer so it was a little crazy and crowded but everyone was so great. They went with the flow and jumped in wherever they were needed - even the kids. They were such hard workers. I know several of the kids from different families were asking when they could come back and do it again!
The other highlight of the night was that we were able to give away some of Jackson's Bibles. We brought all of our Women's and Children's Bibles and ~drumroll, please~ 25 Women's Bibles and 16 Children's Bibles were taken...41 in all! Yea!!
One of the women told me that about 3 minutes before she walked into the dining room, she told her friend she needed a Bible!! She said, "I had no idea you would have them here." I said, "But God did!" This is the God we serve!! How personal and perfect is He?!
So the devil showed up, but God won!!
December 15, 2009
Prayers Much Appreciated
This Thursday night we have the privilege of preparing dinner for and serving 100 women and children at the WRCC (Women's Residential and Counseling Center). It is an extension of the Coalition focusing on women who are abused and have no other place to go with their children.
Thirteen families from our Sunday School class are working together on this. Roddy and I are heading it up and would love your prayers for a seamless, orderly evening. We are scheduled to do this every other month but this will be our first time. So we have no idea what to expect and what will be the best process. We're praying for wisdom. But mostly that we will all be a blessing to these women and their little ones and that Jesus' love will shine through to them.
Thank you for praying!
Thirteen families from our Sunday School class are working together on this. Roddy and I are heading it up and would love your prayers for a seamless, orderly evening. We are scheduled to do this every other month but this will be our first time. So we have no idea what to expect and what will be the best process. We're praying for wisdom. But mostly that we will all be a blessing to these women and their little ones and that Jesus' love will shine through to them.
Thank you for praying!
December 14, 2009
Monday's Motto
In honor of Tiger, I thought I'd share this Wagner family motto...
If it's not yours, don't touch it.
December 7, 2009
Monday's Motto
Whenever Christmas begins to burden,
it's a sign that I've taken on something of the world and not of Christ.
November 29, 2009
Jesus' Birthday
Last year around this time, I read a post by Ann at A Holy Experience that changed the way we do Christmas.
It made perfect sense to me. On my birthday, we don't all exchange gifts. Do you? So I wonder why we exchange gifts on Jesus' birthday.
I read the story to the kids and it made perfect sense to them as well.
Of course, we couldn't wrap presents and put them under the tree for Jesus to physically open Christmas morning. So what could we do?
Jesus said that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Him.
So to give to Jesus, we gave to others...and it was the best Christmasever yet!
And we let the kids pick gifts from Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalog.
There are so many ways to serve others not just at Christmas but throughout the year. Keep your eyes and ears open. Give and it will change your Christmas. Keep giving and it will change your life.
Our focus was so different last year. Getting wasn't what was important. We experienced in spades that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
It made perfect sense to me. On my birthday, we don't all exchange gifts. Do you? So I wonder why we exchange gifts on Jesus' birthday.
I read the story to the kids and it made perfect sense to them as well.
Of course, we couldn't wrap presents and put them under the tree for Jesus to physically open Christmas morning. So what could we do?
Jesus said that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Him.
So to give to Jesus, we gave to others...and it was the best Christmas
You may think of other ways to give and serve others this month but these were our birthday gifts last year (some to be repeated this year and new ones to be added).
We put together hygiene kits for the men at the Coalition which we then had the privilege of handing out on Christmas morning.
We memorized the Christmas story from Luke 2 to recite to the residents of a local local nursing home followed by Christmas carols.
We saved our coins and donated the money we collected to Wycliffe Bible Translators. There is also an option of going through their Gift Catalog to specify where the money is used.And we let the kids pick gifts from Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalog.
There are so many ways to serve others not just at Christmas but throughout the year. Keep your eyes and ears open. Give and it will change your Christmas. Keep giving and it will change your life.
Our focus was so different last year. Getting wasn't what was important. We experienced in spades that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
P.S. We still exchanged gifts with our families because this is our conviction not theirs.
And we decided that because Thanksgiving is about the abundance of blessings God gives us and being thankful for each other, we will give our gifts to each other at Thanksgiving. At the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims gave gifts to the Native Americans and vice-versa. So this will be our time to exchange presents with each other.November 27, 2009
Twilight
For me the choice is simple. But for others the lines have been blurred. Here is an excellent reason not to partake in the Twilight madness! Read The Visionary Daughters review.
Here's an excerpt...
For this discussion, we would like to set aside the dark paranormal element of Twilight, though that is a concern on its own. We believe what ultimately draws women into this series and other romance novels in millions-strong droves is the same thing that lures men into an estimated $3-4 billion-a-year pornography industry.
Here's an excerpt...
For this discussion, we would like to set aside the dark paranormal element of Twilight, though that is a concern on its own. We believe what ultimately draws women into this series and other romance novels in millions-strong droves is the same thing that lures men into an estimated $3-4 billion-a-year pornography industry.
November 24, 2009
Give Thanks!
Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
tell of all his wondrous works!
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice!
Psalm 105:1-3
November 23, 2009
November 16, 2009
November 13, 2009
Talk is Cheap
Read the following last week and had to share. It's lengthy but sooo good!
"Are you a frustrated parent? Is your brow drawn tight as if pulled by drawstrings? If parenting is not enjoyable, be assured, you have a bad attitude. When your children look into your face, what do they see? They are not fooled. They know how you feel toward them. Your face is a graph of approval or rejection. The smooth tongue of 'positive affirmation' is not enough; in fact, it is worse than nothing if there is not genuine delight in your heart...If they see disappointment and criticism, they will answer in kind. Discontented parents breed discontented children. Your attitude is the root of the family attitude tree. A bitter root cannot produce sweet fruit.
Personal attitudes are highly contagious, and children usually come down with a worse case. 'More is caught than taught.' And children seem more highly susceptible to catching a bad attitude than of being taught to have a good one...
'Our actions speak louder than our words,' but our attitude screams louder than our actions. The first need and the most lacking element in child training is a right attitude on the part of parents...
Who you are is more important than what you do...
Your children are playing follow-the-leader...
The bad news is that you are responsible for the condition of your children. The good news is that you don't have to be frustrated over attempting to change them. You only need to change yourself. Since their attitudes are reflections of yours, you need only change your attitude, and the reflections will change...
Children living under condemnation are not motivated to good works. None of us seeks to please someone who is condemning us...You may nag or gripe them into relenting to your will, but you can never bad-attitude them into a good attitude. Children cannot be intimidated into positive character. To stand off and criticize their performance will not induce them to a rectifying shame. No one has ever been motivated to climb out from under a pile of disapproval to win the praise and affections of his or her accuser.
The law of human nature is such that condemnation and shame cause an alienation that only produces more disobedience...
If you are always ready to show them what is wrong, but do not constantly exemplify what is right, they will cower under your judgments while continuing to grow into the likeness of your graceless bitterness.
The parental spirit of displeasure holds the child in 'death.' A new spirit in the parent will allow the child to serve from a joyous spirit and not from the decrepit bondage of legal depression...
Your children will begin to develop positive character only in an atmosphere of forgiveness and acceptance. The first step to recovery and the ground on which it continues is the parent's smile...
If fellowship with God provokes His children to holiness, what will be the result of a child's fellowship with his parents? The best training is done under the supervision of a smile. There is a time for discipline, rebuke, spanking, and even controlled anger, but such should be temporary signposts on a path of communion that you walk with your children. If they see your delight and appreciation, they will have the courage to try to maintain that sweetness.
These excerpts are from No Greater Joy, Volume One by Mike and Debi Pearl.
Good stuff, don't you think?
"Are you a frustrated parent? Is your brow drawn tight as if pulled by drawstrings? If parenting is not enjoyable, be assured, you have a bad attitude. When your children look into your face, what do they see? They are not fooled. They know how you feel toward them. Your face is a graph of approval or rejection. The smooth tongue of 'positive affirmation' is not enough; in fact, it is worse than nothing if there is not genuine delight in your heart...If they see disappointment and criticism, they will answer in kind. Discontented parents breed discontented children. Your attitude is the root of the family attitude tree. A bitter root cannot produce sweet fruit.
Personal attitudes are highly contagious, and children usually come down with a worse case. 'More is caught than taught.' And children seem more highly susceptible to catching a bad attitude than of being taught to have a good one...
'Our actions speak louder than our words,' but our attitude screams louder than our actions. The first need and the most lacking element in child training is a right attitude on the part of parents...
Who you are is more important than what you do...
Your children are playing follow-the-leader...
The bad news is that you are responsible for the condition of your children. The good news is that you don't have to be frustrated over attempting to change them. You only need to change yourself. Since their attitudes are reflections of yours, you need only change your attitude, and the reflections will change...
Children living under condemnation are not motivated to good works. None of us seeks to please someone who is condemning us...You may nag or gripe them into relenting to your will, but you can never bad-attitude them into a good attitude. Children cannot be intimidated into positive character. To stand off and criticize their performance will not induce them to a rectifying shame. No one has ever been motivated to climb out from under a pile of disapproval to win the praise and affections of his or her accuser.
The law of human nature is such that condemnation and shame cause an alienation that only produces more disobedience...
If you are always ready to show them what is wrong, but do not constantly exemplify what is right, they will cower under your judgments while continuing to grow into the likeness of your graceless bitterness.
The parental spirit of displeasure holds the child in 'death.' A new spirit in the parent will allow the child to serve from a joyous spirit and not from the decrepit bondage of legal depression...
Your children will begin to develop positive character only in an atmosphere of forgiveness and acceptance. The first step to recovery and the ground on which it continues is the parent's smile...
If fellowship with God provokes His children to holiness, what will be the result of a child's fellowship with his parents? The best training is done under the supervision of a smile. There is a time for discipline, rebuke, spanking, and even controlled anger, but such should be temporary signposts on a path of communion that you walk with your children. If they see your delight and appreciation, they will have the courage to try to maintain that sweetness.
These excerpts are from No Greater Joy, Volume One by Mike and Debi Pearl.
Good stuff, don't you think?
November 11, 2009
Why? Why not?
Often when people go through hard times or difficult situations, they ask, "Why?"
"Why is this happening to me?" or "Why would God allow this to happen?"
If you think about it, the question should really be, "Why not?"
Because the reality is, we don't always get what we actually deserve, which is hell. Even our hardest day is better than that.
Instead, what we get is an opportunity to accept Jesus as Lord of our lives and live eternally with Him in Heaven.
It's humbling.
But in case you're still wondering why we have to go through difficult situations, here's what Paul says in II Corinthians 1...(emphasis mine)
For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia.
"Why is this happening to me?" or "Why would God allow this to happen?"
If you think about it, the question should really be, "Why not?"
Because the reality is, we don't always get what we actually deserve, which is hell. Even our hardest day is better than that.
Instead, what we get is an opportunity to accept Jesus as Lord of our lives and live eternally with Him in Heaven.
It's humbling.
But in case you're still wondering why we have to go through difficult situations, here's what Paul says in II Corinthians 1...(emphasis mine)
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and
God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings,
so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation;
and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort,
which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.
Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings,
you will also share in our comfort.
For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia.
For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.
But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us.
On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
You also must help us by prayer,
so that many will give thanks on our behalf
for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.
November 9, 2009
October 30, 2009
A Mother's High Calling
The Stay at Home Missionary quoted this on her blog. I couldn't resist copying it here...
"Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches into eternity; could she look into it's soul to see it's possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for it's destiny,- she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust given to her."
- JR Miller
October 27, 2009
To Be Thankful
If you need a reality check, or just a good cry, read this. I couldn't help but sob when I read it. And maybe it affected me more than it will you because I knew them. So let me tell you a little more about them.
Cyndi is a 32 year old widow. Her husband died after a two year battle - and I mean battle - with cancer. He was a loving, godly husband and father. He leaves behind three children.
And while I know he is so much better off, I absolutely hate what death leaves behind.
As I was crying my eyes out, I began to wonder...
If she could have him back,
would she ever be too tired to make love to him?
would she nag him over that chore not yet done?
would she begrudge a weekend golf game? or would she count the minutes anxiously awaiting his return and greet him with a smile?
would she be bitter about the overflowing trash bag that should have been taken out yesterday?
would she harbor anger over a poor financial decision he made despite her advice?
would she complain when he brought home the wrong kind of peanut butter from the grocery store?
Or would she just be thankful?
I want to be thankful for every second I get with my husband and children. I don't want to be petty and trivial. I want to remember what is important!
Cyndi is a 32 year old widow. Her husband died after a two year battle - and I mean battle - with cancer. He was a loving, godly husband and father. He leaves behind three children.
And while I know he is so much better off, I absolutely hate what death leaves behind.
As I was crying my eyes out, I began to wonder...
If she could have him back,
would she ever be too tired to make love to him?
would she nag him over that chore not yet done?
would she begrudge a weekend golf game? or would she count the minutes anxiously awaiting his return and greet him with a smile?
would she be bitter about the overflowing trash bag that should have been taken out yesterday?
would she harbor anger over a poor financial decision he made despite her advice?
would she complain when he brought home the wrong kind of peanut butter from the grocery store?
Or would she just be thankful?
I want to be thankful for every second I get with my husband and children. I don't want to be petty and trivial. I want to remember what is important!
October 26, 2009
October 21, 2009
My Season
The last couple months have been crazy around here. Wednesday night classes at church started, soccer started, a weekly Bible study with my mom's church started. We had 2 birthdays which = 2 birthday parties plus 2 friends' birthday parties, and an anniversary which = a surprise weekend away (more on that later).
Our typical week has been:
Sunday - church
Sunday night - Awanas
Monday night - Library
Tuesday - weekly Bible study with Mom
Tuesday night - soccer practice
Wednesday night - church
Thursday (every other) - nursing home
Friday -
Saturday - soccer game
One week we had all that plus a birthday which we got to spend with my sister and her kiddos, a birthday party, and we had to make boxes for collecting Bibles to place around the church. That meant lots of trips to Joanne's for craft materials. And since I don't do anything quickly and I wanted to save money, it took a lot of time to get done.
Another week I had 3 Bible studies in 2 days because two of my once-a-month studies met in the same week.
I kept trying to figure out what to cut out. Can't cut soccer but it will be over in a few more weeks. One month I did skip a Bible study. And I temporarily suspended our nursing home visits this month - although we traded one of those to go downtown to pass out Bible to the homeless.
What I have discovered -or rediscovered- is that this is not my season for such busyness. This is my season for staying home and meeting the needs of my husband and children.
I can't do the things I need to do around here if I'm always on the go.
I can't spend the time I want to with the kids when we're always getting ready to go somewhere.
So what have I done? I have made some decisions:
1. I need to pray a lot more before committing to something.
2. Roddy and I decided the class we were taking on Wednesday nights was for the birds. It was a parenting class that doesn't line up with our parenting philosophy, so we emailed the leaders and told them we were going to back out of it. They were great leaders, it was just the material we didn't care for. They were sweet about it and very understanding.
3. I asked my mom if she would mind if I didn't finish going to her church's weekly Bible study. It was a Beth Moore study - very good - but very time consuming. Between trying to do the homework and all the other running around we were doing, I didn't have any time for my own Bible-time. She too was gracious and understanding.
I think if you commit to something you should stick to it but in this case, I believe discontinuing both was what I needed to do. And I'm already reaping the rewards of LESS!
I LOVE being home!! This is my season!!!
Our typical week has been:
Sunday - church
Sunday night - Awanas
Monday night - Library
Tuesday - weekly Bible study with Mom
Tuesday night - soccer practice
Wednesday night - church
Thursday (every other) - nursing home
Friday -
Saturday - soccer game
One week we had all that plus a birthday which we got to spend with my sister and her kiddos, a birthday party, and we had to make boxes for collecting Bibles to place around the church. That meant lots of trips to Joanne's for craft materials. And since I don't do anything quickly and I wanted to save money, it took a lot of time to get done.
Another week I had 3 Bible studies in 2 days because two of my once-a-month studies met in the same week.
I kept trying to figure out what to cut out. Can't cut soccer but it will be over in a few more weeks. One month I did skip a Bible study. And I temporarily suspended our nursing home visits this month - although we traded one of those to go downtown to pass out Bible to the homeless.
What I have discovered -or rediscovered- is that this is not my season for such busyness. This is my season for staying home and meeting the needs of my husband and children.
I can't do the things I need to do around here if I'm always on the go.
I can't spend the time I want to with the kids when we're always getting ready to go somewhere.
So what have I done? I have made some decisions:
1. I need to pray a lot more before committing to something.
2. Roddy and I decided the class we were taking on Wednesday nights was for the birds. It was a parenting class that doesn't line up with our parenting philosophy, so we emailed the leaders and told them we were going to back out of it. They were great leaders, it was just the material we didn't care for. They were sweet about it and very understanding.
3. I asked my mom if she would mind if I didn't finish going to her church's weekly Bible study. It was a Beth Moore study - very good - but very time consuming. Between trying to do the homework and all the other running around we were doing, I didn't have any time for my own Bible-time. She too was gracious and understanding.
I think if you commit to something you should stick to it but in this case, I believe discontinuing both was what I needed to do. And I'm already reaping the rewards of LESS!
I LOVE being home!! This is my season!!!
October 19, 2009
Monday's Motto
You get what you put up with.
I'm referring to parenting. What you're willing to allow in your home -disrespect, disobedience, sibling rivalry, etc- is what you will get.
If you take the time to model, train, consistently and patiently correct and discipline what you don't want in your home, you won't have it. It won't be 100% of the time, but you will see a significant difference.
October 14, 2009
Happy Birthday, Emma!
Happy 10th Birthday to Emma!
I've been looking forward to this birthday brag since I started doing them at the beginning of the year.
There are so many nice things that can be said about Emma. She is patient, kind, and generous.
She is obedient and respectful. It's a rare thing for her to have a bad attitude about something we've asked her to do.
She's smart and creative and a bookworm to the max.
She's hard working and dependable. I can always count on her.
She's a servant. She's the first one to jump up to do something that needs to be done. When she sees me working in the kitchen, she'll ask me if I need help.
When there are days that I'm having to discipline and correct more than usual and she sees me starting to wear down, she prays for me and asks me if there is anything she can do for me.
She's a servant. She's the first one to jump up to do something that needs to be done. When she sees me working in the kitchen, she'll ask me if I need help.
When there are days that I'm having to discipline and correct more than usual and she sees me starting to wear down, she prays for me and asks me if there is anything she can do for me.She's a great friend. I tell her whoever gets to be her friend is blessed because she is such a great person. And she's the best kind of friend to have. She's not petty or a drama queen. She's level-headed and easy going. She forgives easily. She's fun. She's not concerned about what others think.
She's unbiased. She doesn't see people who are "different" as different. In fact, I'm not even sure she sees the differences. If she does, she never lets on. She accepts everyone as-is and treats everyone equally.
And whoever gets to marry her is even more blessed because she's going to make an awesome wife and mother one day!
Oh, Emma! I love you so much. I'm proud to be your mommy. You bring such joy to our family and set such a good example for your siblings. Thank you for being a servant and a leader all at the same time. God is going to bless you abundantly for the honor you've shown us. Happy Birthday!
October 7, 2009
14 Years
Fourteen years ago, today was a Saturday. Not just any Saturday, though.
For breakfast, I ate poached eggs on toast. This was normal because my dad often spoiled me by making my breakfast.
Later that morning I drove to a salon to have my hair styled in an elegant up-do.
I don't know what time I arrived at the church but once there, the final preparations began. Undergarments on. Make up done. Dress and veil saved for last.
Then pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.
Finally, music. Hand-picked by yours truly. Mom took her place in the pew up front.
I came out of the bride's dressing room to meet my dad who would be my escort. And from the side of the foyer I watched my maids-of-honor enter the sanctuary, the doors closing behind them only to be opened again at just the right moment.
We took our places - my dad and I. Not a jitter or butterfly to be found.
Then it was time! The double doors swung open and I could see him. My groom. I caught my breath and almost started to cry. Dad asked if I was okay. I said, "He's just so beautiful!"
And he is so beautiful.
We exchanged vows that I mean more today than I did then. Then I knew him for 8 1/2 months. Today, after 14 years (168 months, 5,113 days) of marriage I know him and love him even more!!
I'm thankful to God for letting me marry the man beyond my dreams and for giving him the strength to stick with me through thick and thin!
October 5, 2009
September 30, 2009
Why I Don't Complain About My Kids
It is apparent to me that to many I give off the image that my kids are perfect or that we have it all together in the parenting department. Well they aren't and we don't!
And I've been struggling with wanting to clear that up without completely maligning my family.
So let me start by sharing two reasons why you won't hear complaining from me about my husband or kids.
1. When we first got married (and maybe still) I teased that my parents loved Roddy more than me. I mean who wouldn't, right?!! But early on in our marriage when Roddy would do things that upset me, I would call my mom up and gripe to her about whatever it was that he had done.
After a while, I noticed that when I complained about him to my mom, all that did was taint her view of him and possibly make her feel the need to side with me against him. Thankfully, I realized this pretty early on in our marriage, and I decided that I was not going to do that any more. I decided I wouldn't complain about him to my friends either.
I have come to believe that it is wrong to bad mouth your husband to others. It is disrespectful and, in all honesty, makes you look like a fool for choosing him. It also does nothing to bring your relationship closer. You might temporarily feel better because you got it off your chest and someone else may have given you the affirmation you desired but ultimately it helps you harbor bitterness against him. I could go on but I'll move on for now.
2. When I was a young mom, I had some great friends who were new moms, too. And being new moms and not used to the demands of motherhood, we were apt to complain about how hard it was.
When I was surprised by my pregnancy with Jackson, I was not excited. All I could think about was how hard it was going to be having 3 kids under 2 1/2 years of age!
The day he was born the doctors noticed he had an irregular heartbeat and started doing ultrasounds of his heart. Immediately I regreted every complaint I had made about having him because at that point I didn't know what was going to happen to him.
After that day, I made an effort not to be a complaining mother. Now let me give a disclaimer right now - this does not mean that I have never complained since. Oh contraire, mon frere! I have done my share! But I do try to accept the role God has given me and I make a point not to get into complaining-fests with other moms.
Afterall, how would I feel if my husband and kids complained about me to their friends? They would have plenty to say, but boy would it make me sad! And what purpose would it serve?
Philippians 2:14 says,
So how am I to be transparent about the fact that there are struggles going on in the Wagner house without tearing everyone down in the process? Because let me tell you, my family comes first. If everyone else has to be left wondering in order to protect my family, so be it. However, I did want to find an answer. So Roddy and I talked about this several times and finally came to the conclusion that we could/should freely share our own personal failures but there is not a need to share our kids failures.
And I've been struggling with wanting to clear that up without completely maligning my family.
So let me start by sharing two reasons why you won't hear complaining from me about my husband or kids.
1. When we first got married (and maybe still) I teased that my parents loved Roddy more than me. I mean who wouldn't, right?!! But early on in our marriage when Roddy would do things that upset me, I would call my mom up and gripe to her about whatever it was that he had done.
After a while, I noticed that when I complained about him to my mom, all that did was taint her view of him and possibly make her feel the need to side with me against him. Thankfully, I realized this pretty early on in our marriage, and I decided that I was not going to do that any more. I decided I wouldn't complain about him to my friends either.
I have come to believe that it is wrong to bad mouth your husband to others. It is disrespectful and, in all honesty, makes you look like a fool for choosing him. It also does nothing to bring your relationship closer. You might temporarily feel better because you got it off your chest and someone else may have given you the affirmation you desired but ultimately it helps you harbor bitterness against him. I could go on but I'll move on for now.
2. When I was a young mom, I had some great friends who were new moms, too. And being new moms and not used to the demands of motherhood, we were apt to complain about how hard it was.
When I was surprised by my pregnancy with Jackson, I was not excited. All I could think about was how hard it was going to be having 3 kids under 2 1/2 years of age!
The day he was born the doctors noticed he had an irregular heartbeat and started doing ultrasounds of his heart. Immediately I regreted every complaint I had made about having him because at that point I didn't know what was going to happen to him.
After that day, I made an effort not to be a complaining mother. Now let me give a disclaimer right now - this does not mean that I have never complained since. Oh contraire, mon frere! I have done my share! But I do try to accept the role God has given me and I make a point not to get into complaining-fests with other moms.
Afterall, how would I feel if my husband and kids complained about me to their friends? They would have plenty to say, but boy would it make me sad! And what purpose would it serve?
Philippians 2:14 says,
"Do all things without grumbling or questioning."
The NIV says,"Do everything without complaining or arguing."
So how am I to be transparent about the fact that there are struggles going on in the Wagner house without tearing everyone down in the process? Because let me tell you, my family comes first. If everyone else has to be left wondering in order to protect my family, so be it. However, I did want to find an answer. So Roddy and I talked about this several times and finally came to the conclusion that we could/should freely share our own personal failures but there is not a need to share our kids failures.
September 29, 2009
216 & 35
That's how many Bibles we collected in one weekend! 216 from our church and 35 sent from Mama Jenny's (Roddy's grandmother's) church in NC. So exciting!
There will be an article about Jackson in our church's on-line magazine. I'll have to get the link and put it here.
We're hoping to go downtown this Thursday night with John to pass some out.
There will be an article about Jackson in our church's on-line magazine. I'll have to get the link and put it here. We're hoping to go downtown this Thursday night with John to pass some out.
September 24, 2009
Happy Birthday, Charlie
Happy 6th Birthday, Charlie!! Here's your birthday brag!
This kid is the spice of our lives! With his big, brown eyes, gusto and zest for life, he adds lots of flavor to our days.
I've learned the most about myself from Charlie because we are the most alike. We're both passionate in our beliefs and feelings. And though we love rules and really want to do what's right, we can sometimes have the hardest time submitting to them.
I love how his heart is so sincere in repentance when he realizes his sin.
His prayers are the best. They are thoughtful and hopeful. He'll say things like, "And thank you that we get to have a good day today...."
He's the one that is going to display the strongest leadership. Although I'm trying to teach all the kids that being a Wright/Wagner means they will automatically be leaders, I think Charlie will be the one who is more outspoken and less likely to back down when confronted. I'm just glad he's on our team!
Charlie is a take you or leave you kind of guy. He's confident and knows what he wants. He loves having friends to play with but doesn't feel the need to accommodate them to what he's playing.
He's an open book. You don't have to wonder what he's thinking or feeling. And while some might view that as a weakness, I'm learning it can really be a strength when trained.
This kid is the spice of our lives! With his big, brown eyes, gusto and zest for life, he adds lots of flavor to our days.
I've learned the most about myself from Charlie because we are the most alike. We're both passionate in our beliefs and feelings. And though we love rules and really want to do what's right, we can sometimes have the hardest time submitting to them.
I love how his heart is so sincere in repentance when he realizes his sin.
His prayers are the best. They are thoughtful and hopeful. He'll say things like, "And thank you that we get to have a good day today...."
He's the one that is going to display the strongest leadership. Although I'm trying to teach all the kids that being a Wright/Wagner means they will automatically be leaders, I think Charlie will be the one who is more outspoken and less likely to back down when confronted. I'm just glad he's on our team!
Charlie is a take you or leave you kind of guy. He's confident and knows what he wants. He loves having friends to play with but doesn't feel the need to accommodate them to what he's playing.
He's an open book. You don't have to wonder what he's thinking or feeling. And while some might view that as a weakness, I'm learning it can really be a strength when trained.
I sure do love you, Charlie Barlie! You are a gift from God to our family and we just wouldn't be the same without you. You are an awesome kid and I can't wait to see how God uses you in the years to come!
September 21, 2009
He Did It!
He looked like he was scared to death, but Jackson got up in front of thousands of people this weekend to promote "Jackson's Bibles." 
We have a Saturday night
and two Sunday morning services. 
He got to go up during the announcement time of each service and Pastor David told everyone about his idea of collecting Bibles for the homeless.
We have a Saturday night and two Sunday morning services. He got to go up during the announcement time of each service and Pastor David told everyone about his idea of collecting Bibles for the homeless. September 19, 2009
Emma's 1st Soccer Game
Today was Emma's first soccer game ever!! 
She was so excited and did a really great job.
She was all over that field and never hesitated to go for the ball.
Here they are at half-time. 
It was hot and they were tired but they won 4-1! Go Lady Commodores!
She was so excited and did a really great job.She was all over that field and never hesitated to go for the ball. Here they are at half-time. It was hot and they were tired but they won 4-1! Go Lady Commodores!
September 17, 2009
Jackson's Bibles
A couple of Wednesdays ago, on our way to church, Roddy was telling us that John had another opportunity for us to work with the homeless (this time with victims of domestic abuse).
When we got home that night Jackson came in our room and said he wanted to tell Mr. Helton something. For those who don't know him, John Helton is a good friend of ours and also the Local Missions Pastor at our church. Well, for some reason, Jackson didn't want to tell us. But after some prodding, he finally he told us he thought we should collect Bibles to give to the homeless.
I said, "That is a really great idea! Why didn't you want to tell us?" He said he was scared. Since it is unusual for him to be scared to tell us anything, we talked about how it was probably the devil trying to scare him because the last thing he would want is for us to give Bibles to anyone. Well that did it. Knowing the enemy was trying to keep him from such a great idea just fueled the fire in his belly. He was so excited after that. He just kept talking about what we could do to get people to bring Bibles to church and how we could make special boxes to collect them.
He even mentioned the time in church, after Pastor David's father passed away, when he was telling us about his dad's old, worn out, duct-taped Bible. Pastor David had said people would buy his dad new Bibles but he always went back to the old one. Jackson said, "Pastor David's dad could give all those Bibles." Somehow he had missed the part about his dad being in heaven now.
The next day Roddy told John and he loved the idea. After talking to the powers-that-be at church, he said we could put boxes out and somehow advertise the idea. He was so nice because a couple days later, John told us he was going to call the project "Jackson's Bibles." Isn't that cool? He said he knew that wasn't why Jackson was doing it but thought it would be a perfect name.
So if you have some extra Bibles laying around and would like to contribute, just let me know or start looking for the boxes at church in the next couple weeks.
When we got home that night Jackson came in our room and said he wanted to tell Mr. Helton something. For those who don't know him, John Helton is a good friend of ours and also the Local Missions Pastor at our church. Well, for some reason, Jackson didn't want to tell us. But after some prodding, he finally he told us he thought we should collect Bibles to give to the homeless.
I said, "That is a really great idea! Why didn't you want to tell us?" He said he was scared. Since it is unusual for him to be scared to tell us anything, we talked about how it was probably the devil trying to scare him because the last thing he would want is for us to give Bibles to anyone. Well that did it. Knowing the enemy was trying to keep him from such a great idea just fueled the fire in his belly. He was so excited after that. He just kept talking about what we could do to get people to bring Bibles to church and how we could make special boxes to collect them.
He even mentioned the time in church, after Pastor David's father passed away, when he was telling us about his dad's old, worn out, duct-taped Bible. Pastor David had said people would buy his dad new Bibles but he always went back to the old one. Jackson said, "Pastor David's dad could give all those Bibles." Somehow he had missed the part about his dad being in heaven now.
The next day Roddy told John and he loved the idea. After talking to the powers-that-be at church, he said we could put boxes out and somehow advertise the idea. He was so nice because a couple days later, John told us he was going to call the project "Jackson's Bibles." Isn't that cool? He said he knew that wasn't why Jackson was doing it but thought it would be a perfect name.
So if you have some extra Bibles laying around and would like to contribute, just let me know or start looking for the boxes at church in the next couple weeks.
September 15, 2009
Mercy Me!
I love Mercy Me! I love their music! And I love the message in their music! They are also a really great group of guys!
When Roddy and I were first married, he was part of a Christian comedy improv group that performed at youth events and camps. Really hilarious.
One summer the improv group performed at a local youth camp. Mercy Me was the musical group that was brought in. This is way before they were big.
While we were there, we got one of, if not the, first CD they recorded. And, of course, since then have been following them.
Well Saturday night we had the opportunity to work at Night of Joy selling t-shirts and CDs. During our first shift, Christie sent Roddy and me to the stage where Mercy Me was to perform so we could do a little t-shirt advertising.
So we're standing backstage waiting to do our thing when here comes Mercy Me! Oh my word!!! I was so excited. I tried to act very casual, of course. I am a 35 year old mother of 5. But at that moment I felt just like a kid! I whispered for Roddy to hand me his i-phone so I could take a picture (gotta love phones with cameras!!!)
Well Roddy starts talking to Bart about "old times" while 3 of the guys comes over to the steps where I am.
I said, "Can I totally be a teenager for a minute and take your picture?" They were so nice!! They huddled right up and got ready. But then I thought, what am I crazy? I want to be in this picture!
So I said, "Hey, Roddy, can you take our picture?" To which he sends Bart over and then another band member joins us.
Made my night!!! Still makes me giddy just thinking about it! Would have preferred my good camera, but I'll take it!
September 14, 2009
Monday's Motto
You don't have to say everything that you're thinking.
Roddy told me this about 6 years into our marriage. I thought, "Really? No one ever told me this before."
I was accustomed to saying whatever was on my mind. This was a great revelation to me. Eight years laters I'm still working on it. And I'm hoping to pass this wisdom on to my kids.
September 10, 2009
Happy Birthday, Roddy!
Happy Birthday to the BEST Husband and Father Ever!
I couldn't resist doing a little birthday bragging on my hubby because he really is the BEST!
I don't know why God allowed me to journey through life with this man but I am so thankful He did! He is patient with me. He is kind. He has a servant's heart. He chooses to love me unconditionally because many times I am unlovable. I don't know what I'd do without him!
He is my best friend! My confidant! I know my heart is safe with him.
He is the best dad! He seeks to lead our family the way God would have him to. He makes us a priority by putting us before work or extra curricular activities.
When I talk to the kids about how wonderful God is, I start with their daddy. I'll say something like, "You know how awesome your daddy is? God is even more awesome than that!" So they know God must be pretty great because their daddy is tough to beat!
I love that I can say to the boys, "If you don't see your daddy doing that, you shouldn't either."
And I tell Emma and Iris to be sure to marry a man just like their daddy when they grow up because they won't find any better example for a future mate.
I couldn't resist doing a little birthday bragging on my hubby because he really is the BEST!
I don't know why God allowed me to journey through life with this man but I am so thankful He did! He is patient with me. He is kind. He has a servant's heart. He chooses to love me unconditionally because many times I am unlovable. I don't know what I'd do without him!
He is my best friend! My confidant! I know my heart is safe with him.
He is the best dad! He seeks to lead our family the way God would have him to. He makes us a priority by putting us before work or extra curricular activities.
When I talk to the kids about how wonderful God is, I start with their daddy. I'll say something like, "You know how awesome your daddy is? God is even more awesome than that!" So they know God must be pretty great because their daddy is tough to beat!
I love that I can say to the boys, "If you don't see your daddy doing that, you shouldn't either."
And I tell Emma and Iris to be sure to marry a man just like their daddy when they grow up because they won't find any better example for a future mate.Roddy, thank you for marrying me! Thank you for leading me. Thank you for loving me like Christ loves His church. Thank you for being the best husband and father! Thank you for living for Jesus and living like Jesus. I love you more than you know!
September 9, 2009
Mom's Birthday
We had a great time celebrating Mom's birthday.
She and my sister came over about 3pm and all the cousins got to play. The dads joined us after work.
Iris, Mamaw and Braelyn
Colt (4) calls my boys his brothers. Here he and Charlie (5) are working on the fruit pizza for dessert.
The girls dressed up Case (1 1/2). 
It was such a great party the law had to be called in to bring order back to the neighborhood. My brother-in-law arresting everyone... 
Case (minus his drag getup)
...even the birthday girl was cuffed.
Case (minus his drag getup)...even the birthday girl was cuffed.
September 8, 2009
Pride
One Thanksgiving we were asked by our Bible study leader to come to our meeting prepared to share something we were thankful for.
One of the things I shared I am still very much thankful for today:
I am thankful that God doesn't reveal to me everything that is wrong with me all at once.
Boy, would that be overwhelming! I mean I've come a long way, but compared to Jesus, I have a loooonnnnnnggggg way to go!
Normally He's working on me in a few areas, and currently one of those areas is pride.
I am learning that pride has many forms. One of those I faced today.
Here's how it went down...
My mom and dad's church owns the property behind our house. The kids go to Awanas there on Sunday nights and we participate in other events there as well.
I decided to do a Beth Moore Bible study with my mom on Tuesday mornings. They are not offering childcare but said my kids could hang out in a room across the hall from us. The church also has a preschool/daycare but that particular room is normally empty. I thought it was so nice for them to accommodate us.
So I planned out the 2 hours that the kids would be on their own and explained what I expected from them. After getting them set up, I headed across the hall.
Since today was the first day, we didn't actually begin until about an hour after we got there. Meanwhile the kids were in their room doing their thing. Well just as the Pastor's wife was getting ready to start the video, a lady came in and I said, "I saw you check on the kids, are they doing what they are supposed to be doing?"
She said, "Yeah, I just told them not to go into the other room."
The room next to theirs is joined by a bathroom. The teacher in that adjoining room had asked her who the kids were that were peaking in her room.
I looked at the Pastor's wife and said, "You can start without me." And headed to the kids' room.
Long story short, they had only peaked into the bathroom but never even set foot in it. Somehow the teacher noticed and made it sound like they were peaking in her room. No big deal. The kids who had done it were disciplined because they weren't supposed to be up from what they were doing. I wasn't upset with them, though. I totally expected a learning curve the first couple weeks.
But I was upset with the lady who told me about them. Pride had reared it's ugly head because she had told me (not intending to be rude) so that the other 10 participants heard and I was worried about what they thought of my kids.
See, I have no problem when it comes to what people think of my beliefs or convictions. Doesn't phase me in the least.
One thing I do care about is what people think about me as person or about my kids. I don't care about clothes, or keeping up with Joneses. I don't have to have a nice car or even one without a dented bumper (you'd have to see mine to get that).
I also care if I'm liked. I really want to be accepted for who I am. Deep down I think if people really knew me, they wouldn't actually like me and so I don't always feel like I can be myself.
One of the things I shared I am still very much thankful for today:
I am thankful that God doesn't reveal to me everything that is wrong with me all at once.
Boy, would that be overwhelming! I mean I've come a long way, but compared to Jesus, I have a loooonnnnnnggggg way to go!
Normally He's working on me in a few areas, and currently one of those areas is pride.
I am learning that pride has many forms. One of those I faced today.
Here's how it went down...
My mom and dad's church owns the property behind our house. The kids go to Awanas there on Sunday nights and we participate in other events there as well.
I decided to do a Beth Moore Bible study with my mom on Tuesday mornings. They are not offering childcare but said my kids could hang out in a room across the hall from us. The church also has a preschool/daycare but that particular room is normally empty. I thought it was so nice for them to accommodate us.
So I planned out the 2 hours that the kids would be on their own and explained what I expected from them. After getting them set up, I headed across the hall.
Since today was the first day, we didn't actually begin until about an hour after we got there. Meanwhile the kids were in their room doing their thing. Well just as the Pastor's wife was getting ready to start the video, a lady came in and I said, "I saw you check on the kids, are they doing what they are supposed to be doing?"
She said, "Yeah, I just told them not to go into the other room."
The room next to theirs is joined by a bathroom. The teacher in that adjoining room had asked her who the kids were that were peaking in her room.
I looked at the Pastor's wife and said, "You can start without me." And headed to the kids' room.
Long story short, they had only peaked into the bathroom but never even set foot in it. Somehow the teacher noticed and made it sound like they were peaking in her room. No big deal. The kids who had done it were disciplined because they weren't supposed to be up from what they were doing. I wasn't upset with them, though. I totally expected a learning curve the first couple weeks.
But I was upset with the lady who told me about them. Pride had reared it's ugly head because she had told me (not intending to be rude) so that the other 10 participants heard and I was worried about what they thought of my kids.
See, I have no problem when it comes to what people think of my beliefs or convictions. Doesn't phase me in the least.
One thing I do care about is what people think about me as person or about my kids. I don't care about clothes, or keeping up with Joneses. I don't have to have a nice car or even one without a dented bumper (you'd have to see mine to get that).
I also care if I'm liked. I really want to be accepted for who I am. Deep down I think if people really knew me, they wouldn't actually like me and so I don't always feel like I can be myself.
I know this is wrong. I shouldn't worry about what people think. It only matters what One thinks of me. And if God likes me and accepts me, I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks. Still working on that, though.
I also want my kids to have a good reputation - not a perfect reputation but a good one. I don't want them accused of doing something they didn't actually do and then having people think that they are causing trouble.
That's what bothered me today. But, thankfully God helped me get over myself. I realized the root of my problem - pride! After a few minutes of grumbling in my head, I prayed that God would help me forgive the lady for announcing it to the group and then immediately asked for forgiveness for being more concerned about what people think instead of concentrating on what was true (that my kids love their mommy enough to obey --mostly-- what I asked them to do for 2 hours without adult supervision --mostly--).
And He did help me. He helped me forgive (even though really the lady didn't do anything wrong) and He forgave me.
I love my God! I love that He wants me to get over myself and my pride! I love that He hasn't given up on me! That He is so patient and loving and forgiving!
I also want my kids to have a good reputation - not a perfect reputation but a good one. I don't want them accused of doing something they didn't actually do and then having people think that they are causing trouble.
That's what bothered me today. But, thankfully God helped me get over myself. I realized the root of my problem - pride! After a few minutes of grumbling in my head, I prayed that God would help me forgive the lady for announcing it to the group and then immediately asked for forgiveness for being more concerned about what people think instead of concentrating on what was true (that my kids love their mommy enough to obey --mostly-- what I asked them to do for 2 hours without adult supervision --mostly--).
And He did help me. He helped me forgive (even though really the lady didn't do anything wrong) and He forgave me.
I love my God! I love that He wants me to get over myself and my pride! I love that He hasn't given up on me! That He is so patient and loving and forgiving!
Legos
Can you ever have too many Legos? 
Not in our house! We love them. I mostly like sorting and organizing them but Daddy and the kids love building with them. They love the kits and they love designing their own.
Daddy is the resident Lego genius with a bunch a little prodigies following in his footsteps. Here are just a few of the models cooked up by Daddy's imagination.
Iris made these...
...while Gray built a toll booth.
Not in our house! We love them. I mostly like sorting and organizing them but Daddy and the kids love building with them. They love the kits and they love designing their own.Daddy is the resident Lego genius with a bunch a little prodigies following in his footsteps. Here are just a few of the models cooked up by Daddy's imagination.Iris made these......while Gray built a toll booth.
September 7, 2009
September 6, 2009
Fruit
How can you tell an apple tree from an orange tree?
If it's bearing fruit, all you have to do is look at the the fruit, right?
If it's not bearing fruit, maybe you could look at the blossoms or leaves, but it takes closer inspection.
Pastor David spoke this morning on living by the Spirit versus being controlled by the flesh.He said we're all influenced by something. And you know, it's our choice what we allow to influence us.
Will we allow the Holy Spirit to influence us or the things of this world that appeal to our fleshly desires - money or material possessions, social status, approval of man, worldly entertainment?
I loved when he said that it's not that Christians never sin but that when we are living in the Spirit we don't stay in that sin.
How do you know if you are living in the flesh? The evidences are listed in Galatians 5:19-21:
How do you know if you are living in the flesh? The evidences are listed in Galatians 5:19-21:
sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
idolatry, sorcery,
enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,
drunkenness, orgies
idolatry, sorcery,
enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,
drunkenness, orgies
How do you know if you are living by the Spirit? The evidence is the fruit of the Spirit:
love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control
I also loved it when Pastor David said that we should never say, "I need more patience" or "I need more goodness." Instead, we should say, "I need more Jesus." Because when we have more of Jesus and are more like Him, we will have patience, goodness, etc.
So I have to ask myself, Can others tell just by looking at me, just by looking at my life --day in and day out-- that I am a Christian? What are the evidences?
Is the fruit of the Spirit prominently displayed in my life like a flourishing fruit tree? Or does it take closer inspection?
How do I live by the Spirit so that the fruit of the Spirit can grow in my life?By crucifying my flesh with it's passions and desires. Simply put, get over myself.
This isn't a one-time thing, either. It takes daily, hourly, sometimes minute-by-minute choices to give up what I want for what Jesus wants.
It's capturing my thoughts. It's taking off the old and putting on the new. It's spending time in His Word so I know what pleases Him. And it takes dependence on Jesus to give me the strength to do it.
I'm so thankful my God doesn't just tell me what to do but is there to help me do it!
September 4, 2009
Exasperated Part II
Ultimately if we want to be able to pass on our faith and influence our children in the way they should go, we must have their hearts. But if we are regularly exasperating our children, we will end up pushing them away. They will seek the acceptance they aren't getting from us somewhere else.
Yesterday's list plus today's is obviously not going to cover it all, but I hope I've got you thinking.
13. Withhold firm discipline and proper training. Spend no time training them so they will know what you expect.
14. Discipline inconsistently. Make boundaries unclear. Threaten consequences but don't follow through. (Inconsistency gives occasional permission to disobey and unclear boundaries make children feel insecure.)
15. Assert parental authority weakly. When you say no, allow them to continue to bring up the subject over and over...then give in.
16. Consistently believe evil of them. Be harsh and accusatory. Assume any trouble is their fault. Keep a record of wrongs and don't give fresh starts. (Believe evil of them and they will live up to it.)
17. Do not listen to them. And if you do, be sure to correct their immature believes or dreams immediately. Be intolerant.
18. Continually criticize them when they share their innermost feelings. Tease them about sensitive issues.
19. Communicate to them how unwanted they are. Say things like, "We are definitely done!" or "If I had him/her first, we would have stopped sooner!" Let them know what an inconvenience they are and that they are an intrusion to your life.
20. Threaten them with rejection. Especially in teen years, threaten that they may have to leave home.
21. Don't communicate to them approval, or that you like them. Don't praise proper behavior. Make sure they don't feel like they can measure up.
22. Neglect them. Only spend time with them when they need discipline. Ignore their love language.
23. Overindulge them. Let them think they should get whatever they want. (The most miserable children, by the way, are the ones that get whatever they want.) When they are obedient, kind, etc. be sure to run out and buy them something. Also, allow them to regularly make decisions for the whole family.
24. Reward insolence. Engage or continue discussions where they are allowed to speak to you disrespectfully or angrily.
25. Cease a time of chastisement before it has produced humility. This is one of the best ways to strengthen their will and will help to produce angry, rebellious teens.
There is so much more to keeping our children's hearts, these are just some of the ways to be sure you don't. I hope it's been eye-opening. I also hope you are willing to seek forgiveness from God and your children and start fresh.
His grace and forgiveness He gives freely to those who ask. If you don't know Him or know of the hope He offers and would like to, I'd be more than happy to share with you what He's done in my life. Just send a message to me at jennyrwagner@gmail.com and I'll be sure to get back to you.
Yesterday's list plus today's is obviously not going to cover it all, but I hope I've got you thinking.
13. Withhold firm discipline and proper training. Spend no time training them so they will know what you expect.
14. Discipline inconsistently. Make boundaries unclear. Threaten consequences but don't follow through. (Inconsistency gives occasional permission to disobey and unclear boundaries make children feel insecure.)
15. Assert parental authority weakly. When you say no, allow them to continue to bring up the subject over and over...then give in.
16. Consistently believe evil of them. Be harsh and accusatory. Assume any trouble is their fault. Keep a record of wrongs and don't give fresh starts. (Believe evil of them and they will live up to it.)
17. Do not listen to them. And if you do, be sure to correct their immature believes or dreams immediately. Be intolerant.
18. Continually criticize them when they share their innermost feelings. Tease them about sensitive issues.
19. Communicate to them how unwanted they are. Say things like, "We are definitely done!" or "If I had him/her first, we would have stopped sooner!" Let them know what an inconvenience they are and that they are an intrusion to your life.
20. Threaten them with rejection. Especially in teen years, threaten that they may have to leave home.
21. Don't communicate to them approval, or that you like them. Don't praise proper behavior. Make sure they don't feel like they can measure up.
22. Neglect them. Only spend time with them when they need discipline. Ignore their love language.
23. Overindulge them. Let them think they should get whatever they want. (The most miserable children, by the way, are the ones that get whatever they want.) When they are obedient, kind, etc. be sure to run out and buy them something. Also, allow them to regularly make decisions for the whole family.
24. Reward insolence. Engage or continue discussions where they are allowed to speak to you disrespectfully or angrily.
25. Cease a time of chastisement before it has produced humility. This is one of the best ways to strengthen their will and will help to produce angry, rebellious teens.
There is so much more to keeping our children's hearts, these are just some of the ways to be sure you don't. I hope it's been eye-opening. I also hope you are willing to seek forgiveness from God and your children and start fresh.
His grace and forgiveness He gives freely to those who ask. If you don't know Him or know of the hope He offers and would like to, I'd be more than happy to share with you what He's done in my life. Just send a message to me at jennyrwagner@gmail.com and I'll be sure to get back to you.
September 3, 2009
Exasperated
Ephesians 6 tells us not to exasperate or provoke our children to anger but to bring them up in the discipline, training and instruction of the Lord.
I thought today I would share a list of ways that we as parents can exasperate our kids. This list is compliments of Reb Bradley with some of my own thoughts mixed in. I need this list as much as the next parent. So I'm excited about going through it with you.
If you want to exasperate your child, here are 12 ways to start...13 more will follow tomorrow:
1. Never admit you are wrong. Treat them as if you never make mistakes and can't possibly understand how they could. Never apologize.
I thought today I would share a list of ways that we as parents can exasperate our kids. This list is compliments of Reb Bradley with some of my own thoughts mixed in. I need this list as much as the next parent. So I'm excited about going through it with you.
If you want to exasperate your child, here are 12 ways to start...13 more will follow tomorrow:
1. Never admit you are wrong. Treat them as if you never make mistakes and can't possibly understand how they could. Never apologize.
2. Model hypocrisy. Expect them to do something or behave in a way that you don't. Examples) Complain and fuss about their messy room without taking care of the piles of stuff in yours. Fuss about how they talk to others but correct or disrespect their father in front of them.
3. Fail to keep promises. If you say you're going to do something, as a general rule do your best to follow through. This doesn't mean things don't come up that are unavoidable and kids should learn to accept those times, but for the most part try to be a person of your word.
4. Demand too much of them. Tolerate nothing less than perfection. Do not accept them for who they are - their preferences, tastes, personalities.
5. Overprotect them. Give them no chances to make mistakes. Especially as teens, make all their decisions for them.
6. Batter them with words. Habitually lecture them.
7. Abuse them verbally. Use a harsh tone. Criticize them. Say things like, "Why can't you just...?" or "When are you ever going to....?" Bark out orders. Yell at them.
8. Make discipline too severe. Don't discipline in love. Punish them instead.
9. Show favoritism towards their brother(s) or sister(s). Show less affection, kindness or tenderness. Give different consequences for same offenses but different offenders.
10. Embarrass them. Scold or threaten punishment in front of others. Talk about their short-comings as if they aren't there.
11. Give no time warnings ever.
12. Try to be their friend. Allow them to tease you and treat you as an equal but then expect them to turn off the friend-switch when you're ready to be the parent. Worry about asserting your authority because you don't want them to be mad at you and you just want them to love you.
If you don't think you struggle in any of these areas, ask your child or spouse. Then humbly accept the answer. Ask God to help you overcome any of these areas you see in your life that need to change.
Come back tomorrow for more...
September 1, 2009
Happy Birthday, Mom!!
Happy Birthday to my mom!
We love you very much! 
Can't wait to see you this afternoon to celebrate!
August 25, 2009
Hallelujah Service
We had a hallelujah service in school today. It was actually during our math lesson.
You know how each math procedure (+, -, x and division) has a method to check if your answer is right? Like in division you take the quotient and multiply it by the divisor then add any remainders. If the answer to that matches the dividend you did the problem correctly.
Well today in Emma's math lesson she learned how to check addition, multiplication and division problems by casting out nines (9s). When I first read over this back in July I thought, "What in the world!!??" But as I was actually working through it today, I got so excited. I think I need to explain so you'll understand. I'll give you the run down.
Take this simple problem for example:
239 (addend)
+195 (addend)
434 (sum)
1. cross through the nines in each addend.
2. cross out any digits within an addend that add up to 9 (in this case there aren't any but if one of the addends was 635, you'd cross out the 6 and 3).
3. add the numbers left in the addends (in this problem they are 2+3=5, and in the second addend are 1+5=6).
4. add those numbers (5+6=11).
5. add the digits of your answer in line 4. until you have a single digit (1+1=2).
6. now cross out any 9s or digits that add up to 9 in your original sum (434 has no digits that are to be crossed out).
7. add the digits remaining (4+3+4=11).
8. add the digits of your answer in line 7. until you get one digit (1+1=2)
If the answer in line 5. matches your answer in line 8. you did the problem correctly!
This works EVERY SINGLE TIME no matter the problem! Division and Multiplication have one slight change in the procedure and if you really want to know let me know. But isn't that amazing!!!???
Emma was checking problems like:
75,264
87,915
60,352
95,715
+83,972 and 90,673 divided by 83!
The God of this universe is so amazing!! He created math. And only He could have the mind to set so many things in perfect order that you could eliminate nines and check answers!!!
So as I'm bubbling over with enthusiam about this simple but amazing revelation, I had to share with the kids what Roddy read to me last night. It's from the book by Dinesh D'Souza called "What's So Great About Christianity."
"...Kepler's third law (scientific laws are called laws because they can be proven to occur over and over - so this is not a theory or guess here) states that the square of the time of a planet's revolution is proportional to the cube of its mean distance from the sun."
Did you get that? Every planet's cubed mean distance from the sun is proportional to it's revolution time squared!
God did this!! Not chance! Not evolution! Not cosmic chaos! This is perfect order created by a perfect God! Oh my word, I get excited just thinking about it again!
Yea, God!!!!!!!!
You know how each math procedure (+, -, x and division) has a method to check if your answer is right? Like in division you take the quotient and multiply it by the divisor then add any remainders. If the answer to that matches the dividend you did the problem correctly.
Well today in Emma's math lesson she learned how to check addition, multiplication and division problems by casting out nines (9s). When I first read over this back in July I thought, "What in the world!!??" But as I was actually working through it today, I got so excited. I think I need to explain so you'll understand. I'll give you the run down.
Take this simple problem for example:
239 (addend)
+195 (addend)
434 (sum)
1. cross through the nines in each addend.
2. cross out any digits within an addend that add up to 9 (in this case there aren't any but if one of the addends was 635, you'd cross out the 6 and 3).
3. add the numbers left in the addends (in this problem they are 2+3=5, and in the second addend are 1+5=6).
4. add those numbers (5+6=11).
5. add the digits of your answer in line 4. until you have a single digit (1+1=2).
6. now cross out any 9s or digits that add up to 9 in your original sum (434 has no digits that are to be crossed out).
7. add the digits remaining (4+3+4=11).
8. add the digits of your answer in line 7. until you get one digit (1+1=2)
If the answer in line 5. matches your answer in line 8. you did the problem correctly!
This works EVERY SINGLE TIME no matter the problem! Division and Multiplication have one slight change in the procedure and if you really want to know let me know. But isn't that amazing!!!???
Emma was checking problems like:
75,26487,915
60,352
95,715
+83,972 and 90,673 divided by 83!
The God of this universe is so amazing!! He created math. And only He could have the mind to set so many things in perfect order that you could eliminate nines and check answers!!!
So as I'm bubbling over with enthusiam about this simple but amazing revelation, I had to share with the kids what Roddy read to me last night. It's from the book by Dinesh D'Souza called "What's So Great About Christianity."
"...Kepler's third law (scientific laws are called laws because they can be proven to occur over and over - so this is not a theory or guess here) states that the square of the time of a planet's revolution is proportional to the cube of its mean distance from the sun."
Did you get that? Every planet's cubed mean distance from the sun is proportional to it's revolution time squared!
God did this!! Not chance! Not evolution! Not cosmic chaos! This is perfect order created by a perfect God! Oh my word, I get excited just thinking about it again!
Yea, God!!!!!!!!
Loving Discipline
I wanted to give another example of punishing v. disciplining our children because not all situations are to be handled with a spanking.
Spankings are reserved for instances where your child willfully chooses to disobey you. In other words, you ask them to not do something and they do it anyway, or you ask them to do something and they don't do it right away, all the way, and cheerfully.
Spankings are not to be used as discipline for childishness or thoughtlessness or for kids 12 and older. Spilling something at the table because they are playing around = childishness. Leaving the back door open when they run out to play = thoughtlessness.
When your child just isn't thinking and is not purposefully trying to disobey you, that is when you give a consequence fitting the offense.
When they spill something, patiently teach them how to clean up after themselves.
When they leave the door open, patiently call them back and have them practice going in and out of the door opening and closing it carefully each time. This is also good if you have kids that slam the door when they come in or out.
We teach our kids to take their plates, silverware and cups from the table after a meal, then have them ask what they can do to help clean up the kitchen. One of our boys was consistently forgetting to ask what he could do to help. He'd put his plate in the sink and run off. So we told him that from now on if he 'forgot', I would sweetly call him back and say, "Thank you for volunteering to clean up the kitchen for everyone."
Be sure before you implement a consequence that your child understands the standard or expectation. Surprising them with something new will only exasperate them. If you have a new rule in your house have them practice what you expect so you know they are capable and completely understand. Let them know what will happen if they don't do it and consistently follow through.
Also, be sure your standards are God's standards based on His Word. Manners are taught because they show love to others. Responsibility through chores and helping out teach our kids to be stewards of the time and gifts given from God. Obedience and honor to parents translates into obedience and honor to their Heavenly Father. Self-control is learning to say no to self and yes to God. Who doesn't want this for their children?
Again, the difference between punishment and discipline starts in your heart and should be for the purpose of reaching their heart. Is your purpose to benefit the child in teaching self-control and responsibility, love for God and others?
If so, look for every opportunity to step back, take a deep breath, evaluate the situation (are you dealing with rebellion or childishness?) and then apply loving discipline.
Spankings are reserved for instances where your child willfully chooses to disobey you. In other words, you ask them to not do something and they do it anyway, or you ask them to do something and they don't do it right away, all the way, and cheerfully.
Spankings are not to be used as discipline for childishness or thoughtlessness or for kids 12 and older. Spilling something at the table because they are playing around = childishness. Leaving the back door open when they run out to play = thoughtlessness.
When your child just isn't thinking and is not purposefully trying to disobey you, that is when you give a consequence fitting the offense.
When they spill something, patiently teach them how to clean up after themselves.
When they leave the door open, patiently call them back and have them practice going in and out of the door opening and closing it carefully each time. This is also good if you have kids that slam the door when they come in or out.
We teach our kids to take their plates, silverware and cups from the table after a meal, then have them ask what they can do to help clean up the kitchen. One of our boys was consistently forgetting to ask what he could do to help. He'd put his plate in the sink and run off. So we told him that from now on if he 'forgot', I would sweetly call him back and say, "Thank you for volunteering to clean up the kitchen for everyone."
Be sure before you implement a consequence that your child understands the standard or expectation. Surprising them with something new will only exasperate them. If you have a new rule in your house have them practice what you expect so you know they are capable and completely understand. Let them know what will happen if they don't do it and consistently follow through.
Also, be sure your standards are God's standards based on His Word. Manners are taught because they show love to others. Responsibility through chores and helping out teach our kids to be stewards of the time and gifts given from God. Obedience and honor to parents translates into obedience and honor to their Heavenly Father. Self-control is learning to say no to self and yes to God. Who doesn't want this for their children?
Again, the difference between punishment and discipline starts in your heart and should be for the purpose of reaching their heart. Is your purpose to benefit the child in teaching self-control and responsibility, love for God and others?
If so, look for every opportunity to step back, take a deep breath, evaluate the situation (are you dealing with rebellion or childishness?) and then apply loving discipline.
August 24, 2009
Monday's Motto
Many hands make light work.
In other words, the more who chip in and help the quicker and lighter the job.
August 23, 2009
Curriculum
I promised to give you a rundown of the curriculum we've used during the last 5 years homeschooling.
Reading/Language/Grammar:
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons - I'm now using it for the fourth time with Charlie and Iris. Love this book! Requires no prep time. Takes 15-20 minutes max per day. Here's an example of what they are reading by Christmas of their kindergarten year:
"A mouse had a house that shined. Every day, that mouse got a rag and went from room to room. The mouse picked up every bit of dust. The mouse was very proud. 'This is how I like my house.'"
Abeka's Special Sounds
After they learn to read, we use these flashcards to emphasize phonics rules. Also helps with spelling.
Abeka Language
I used their workbooks up until this year. I like them and have nothing bad to say about the curriculum but just wanted to try something new. So this year we're using...
Rod and Staff English
So far the kids and I like this curriculum. It's simple but thorough. Also inexpensive.
Math
Abeka Math
I love Abeka math. I've used it every year except last year (review to follow) and am using it again this year.
Saxon Math
I used this last year because I had heard in later elementary grades to switch from Abeka to Saxon. I liked the setup. I think it was thorough. And I may switch back and forth between Abeka and Saxon.
One thing to note: Saxon is a grade level behind Abeka. Last year Emma used Saxon 65 which is Saxon's 5th grade math. That was equivalent to Abeka's 4th grade math.
Science (Emma, Gray and Jackson together)
I haven't pushed Science that much because I think I don't remember anything I learned in elementary school in those subjects, why stress myself with it too early? So we've just lived science with snakes, frogs, caterpillars ,butterflies, squirrels, chickens, gardening, etc.
As far as books go, this year (and last year) we're using:
Rod and Staff's Patterns of Nature
Abeka's Understanding God's World
History (Emma, Gray and Jackson together)
Last year we used Abeka's Our American Heritage
and read:
"By the Shores of Silver Lake" by Laura Ingalls Wilder
"Stories of the Pilgrims" by Margaret B. Pumphrey,
"Ten Boy Who..." by Irene Howat
Missionary Stories with the Millers
and picked up books at the library on a couple of the Presidents
This year we're reading through biographies and autobiographies on people such as: Anne Frank, Clara Barton, Benjamin Franklin, Martha Washington, George Washington, Daniel Boone, Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller.
Also we'll be reading historical books like Sarah Whitcher's Story, Red Cap, Dear Levi, Lilly's Crossing, The Sign of the Beaver.
Geography is done when we read something and I show them where it is on the map then relate it to something like "That's right next to Uncle Larry and Aunt Kara" or "That's where Meme and Papa are right now."
Literature
That's the fancy word I'm using for the time I spend reading chapter books to the kids. My spelling/vocabulary words are coming from these stories.
Latin
Prima Latina
I scoffed last year when my friend suggested that our kids need to learn Latin. But the curriculum she used is so simple that I'm using it this year. It is supposed to be great for spelling, grammar and vocabulary. We do one lesson twice a week.
Handwriting
I buy pads of paper from Rod and Staff.
For cursive, I use Abeka's writing pads.
Reading/Language/Grammar:
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons - I'm now using it for the fourth time with Charlie and Iris. Love this book! Requires no prep time. Takes 15-20 minutes max per day. Here's an example of what they are reading by Christmas of their kindergarten year:
"A mouse had a house that shined. Every day, that mouse got a rag and went from room to room. The mouse picked up every bit of dust. The mouse was very proud. 'This is how I like my house.'"
Abeka's Special Sounds
After they learn to read, we use these flashcards to emphasize phonics rules. Also helps with spelling.
Abeka Language
I used their workbooks up until this year. I like them and have nothing bad to say about the curriculum but just wanted to try something new. So this year we're using...
Rod and Staff English
So far the kids and I like this curriculum. It's simple but thorough. Also inexpensive.
Math
Abeka Math
I love Abeka math. I've used it every year except last year (review to follow) and am using it again this year.
Saxon Math
I used this last year because I had heard in later elementary grades to switch from Abeka to Saxon. I liked the setup. I think it was thorough. And I may switch back and forth between Abeka and Saxon.
One thing to note: Saxon is a grade level behind Abeka. Last year Emma used Saxon 65 which is Saxon's 5th grade math. That was equivalent to Abeka's 4th grade math.
Science (Emma, Gray and Jackson together)
I haven't pushed Science that much because I think I don't remember anything I learned in elementary school in those subjects, why stress myself with it too early? So we've just lived science with snakes, frogs, caterpillars ,butterflies, squirrels, chickens, gardening, etc.
As far as books go, this year (and last year) we're using:
Rod and Staff's Patterns of Nature
Abeka's Understanding God's World
History (Emma, Gray and Jackson together)
Last year we used Abeka's Our American Heritage
and read:
"By the Shores of Silver Lake" by Laura Ingalls Wilder
"Stories of the Pilgrims" by Margaret B. Pumphrey,
"Ten Boy Who..." by Irene Howat
Missionary Stories with the Millers
and picked up books at the library on a couple of the Presidents
This year we're reading through biographies and autobiographies on people such as: Anne Frank, Clara Barton, Benjamin Franklin, Martha Washington, George Washington, Daniel Boone, Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller.
Also we'll be reading historical books like Sarah Whitcher's Story, Red Cap, Dear Levi, Lilly's Crossing, The Sign of the Beaver.
Geography is done when we read something and I show them where it is on the map then relate it to something like "That's right next to Uncle Larry and Aunt Kara" or "That's where Meme and Papa are right now."
Literature
That's the fancy word I'm using for the time I spend reading chapter books to the kids. My spelling/vocabulary words are coming from these stories.
Latin
Prima Latina
I scoffed last year when my friend suggested that our kids need to learn Latin. But the curriculum she used is so simple that I'm using it this year. It is supposed to be great for spelling, grammar and vocabulary. We do one lesson twice a week.
Handwriting
I buy pads of paper from Rod and Staff.
For cursive, I use Abeka's writing pads.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
#
