Exasperated

Ephesians 6 tells us not to exasperate or provoke our children to anger but to bring them up in the discipline, training and instruction of the Lord.

I thought today I would share a list of ways that we as parents can exasperate our kids. This list is compliments of Reb Bradley with some of my own thoughts mixed in. I need this list as much as the next parent. So I'm excited about going through it with you.

If you want to exasperate your child, here are 12 ways to start...13 more will follow tomorrow:

1. Never admit you are wrong. Treat them as if you never make mistakes and can't possibly understand how they could. Never apologize.

2. Model hypocrisy. Expect them to do something or behave in a way that you don't. Examples) Complain and fuss about their messy room without taking care of the piles of stuff in yours. Fuss about how they talk to others but correct or disrespect their father in front of them.

3. Fail to keep promises. If you say you're going to do something, as a general rule do your best to follow through. This doesn't mean things don't come up that are unavoidable and kids should learn to accept those times, but for the most part try to be a person of your word.

4. Demand too much of them. Tolerate nothing less than perfection. Do not accept them for who they are - their preferences, tastes, personalities.

5. Overprotect them. Give them no chances to make mistakes. Especially as teens, make all their decisions for them.

6. Batter them with words. Habitually lecture them.

7. Abuse them verbally. Use a harsh tone. Criticize them. Say things like, "Why can't you just...?" or "When are you ever going to....?" Bark out orders. Yell at them.

8. Make discipline too severe. Don't discipline in love. Punish them instead.

9. Show favoritism towards their brother(s) or sister(s). Show less affection, kindness or tenderness. Give different consequences for same offenses but different offenders.

10. Embarrass them. Scold or threaten punishment in front of others. Talk about their short-comings as if they aren't there.

11. Give no time warnings ever.

12. Try to be their friend. Allow them to tease you and treat you as an equal but then expect them to turn off the friend-switch when you're ready to be the parent. Worry about asserting your authority because you don't want them to be mad at you and you just want them to love you.

If you don't think you struggle in any of these areas, ask your child or spouse. Then humbly accept the answer. Ask God to help you overcome any of these areas you see in your life that need to change.

Come back tomorrow for more...