Exasperated Part II

Ultimately if we want to be able to pass on our faith and influence our children in the way they should go, we must have their hearts. But if we are regularly exasperating our children, we will end up pushing them away. They will seek the acceptance they aren't getting from us somewhere else.

Yesterday's list plus today's is obviously not going to cover it all, but I hope I've got you thinking.

13. Withhold firm discipline and proper training. Spend no time training them so they will know what you expect.

14. Discipline inconsistently. Make boundaries unclear. Threaten consequences but don't follow through. (Inconsistency gives occasional permission to disobey and unclear boundaries make children feel insecure.)

15. Assert parental authority weakly. When you say no, allow them to continue to bring up the subject over and over...then give in.

16. Consistently believe evil of them. Be harsh and accusatory. Assume any trouble is their fault. Keep a record of wrongs and don't give fresh starts. (Believe evil of them and they will live up to it.)

17. Do not listen to them. And if you do, be sure to correct their immature believes or dreams immediately. Be intolerant.

18. Continually criticize them when they share their innermost feelings. Tease them about sensitive issues.

19. Communicate to them how unwanted they are. Say things like, "We are definitely done!" or "If I had him/her first, we would have stopped sooner!" Let them know what an inconvenience they are and that they are an intrusion to your life.

20. Threaten them with rejection. Especially in teen years, threaten that they may have to leave home.

21. Don't communicate to them approval, or that you like them. Don't praise proper behavior. Make sure they don't feel like they can measure up.

22. Neglect them. Only spend time with them when they need discipline. Ignore their love language.

23. Overindulge them. Let them think they should get whatever they want. (The most miserable children, by the way, are the ones that get whatever they want.) When they are obedient, kind, etc. be sure to run out and buy them something. Also, allow them to regularly make decisions for the whole family.

24. Reward insolence. Engage or continue discussions where they are allowed to speak to you disrespectfully or angrily.

25. Cease a time of chastisement before it has produced humility. This is one of the best ways to strengthen their will and will help to produce angry, rebellious teens.

There is so much more to keeping our children's hearts, these are just some of the ways to be sure you don't. I hope it's been eye-opening. I also hope you are willing to seek forgiveness from God and your children and start fresh.

His grace and forgiveness He gives freely to those who ask. If you don't know Him or know of the hope He offers and would like to, I'd be more than happy to share with you what He's done in my life. Just send a message to me at jennyrwagner@gmail.com and I'll be sure to get back to you.