"What kind of girl are you going to marry, Gray?"
"I don't know. Like you."Oh, how I want to be the kind of wife I want my boys to marry. I want to be be the kind of wife my husband deserves and God wants me to be.
Have you ever thought about your future daughters-in-law? Do you want them to treat your boys the way you treat your husband?
Hmmm. Something to think about.
Have you thought about what you will teach your daughters about being wives...what the Bible says about being a wife? Have you ever thought that what you want to teach them may not line up with what you're living? I have! And I have some work to do!
Here is what I want to teach my daughters about being wives and how I hope my daughters-in-law are with my sons.
I'm using another acronym. I got it from Proverbs 31:30 which says:
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
...fears the Lord...
FriendlyEncouragingAffectionateRejoices with the TruthServesTeachableHelpfulEver UnderstandingLovingOverlooks OffensesRespectfulDeferentialI won't overwhelm you with all of it at once. And I'm only giving a snipet of each subject that I would cover in greater detail with my girls. I'll start with F.E.A.R.S first.
Friendly - Titus 2:4
...and so train the young women to love their husbands and children...
Did you know that word "love" is the Greek word for a friendly love? We are to be friendly to our husbands. Do I treat my husband in the friendly manner that I treat my girlfriends? I should.
Encouraging - Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Our hubbies need us to be their cheerleaders. They have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are going to be held accountable for us and the children. Are we criticizing or cheering them on?
I have been guilty of criticizing. Why would my husband want to lead in prayer or family devotions when I thought I could do it better and let him know how I thought it should it be done? What if I was just thankful for what he offered to us and let him know that instead. It's made a difference to be sure.
Affectionate - I Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another...so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
All of our husbands need physical affection. It's really not just a desire, it's a God-given need. So what do you do when you're exhausted from taking care of little ones? One idea, schedule in a nap for yourself in the middle of the day. If I can do it, you can do it. Might take some training with the kids but it can be done!
Rejoices with the Truth - Proverbs 12:19
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
Dishonesty has no place in marriage. NONE. Did you know there are wives who lie about shopping trips? Crazy, I know, but it really does happen. I know someone who once hid her new clothes in the dryer so her husband wouldn't find them.
Do you adhere to your husband's wishes with the kids when he's not around? Ever said to them or yourself, "We won't tell daddy." Not a good idea.
Dishonesty includes flat out lying as well as not telling the whole truth, sneaking or hiding things from him.
Serves - Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve...
Do we see the things we do for our husbands as chores, tasks, or do we see them as opportunities to imitate Jesus and serve?
Does it make us mad if our hubbies don't notice the overflowing trash and empty it? Wouldn't it be better to serve him and take it out ourselves?
Part II to come...