Pride, Fear - Humility, Courage

Oh my word, she did it again!

Really, if you don't make it a regular practice to read Ann's blog, you should. Today you'll find her at (In)courage and her words are perfect for a perfectionist such as I.

"Just bow in humility to rise up in courage."

"It’s only pride's hunger for perfection that paralyzes a heart, keeps us enslaved to fear."

"Because if I wear humility, I’m not afraid of the falling. "

"Courage lives in the heart of the lowly... those who can embrace humility and the possibility of imperfection ... because that needy place is where God meets us."

You've got to read it all for yourself!

Prayer

I don't know how she does it, except that it's a gift from God the way she paints words that touch my soul...

Read Ann's Prayer Struggle...

Monday's Motto

Do everything without complaining or arguing.

Philippians 2:14

Punishment v. Discipline

As a mom do you punish or discipline your kids?

What's the difference?

I believe the difference starts in the heart.

One is about the offended. The other is about the offender.

One's purpose is payback. The other's purpose is to benefit the child.

One is done out of selfishness. The other is done out of selflessness.

One is motivated by anger and frustration. The other is motivated by love.

One is to please self. The other is to please God.

The result of one is distance, alienation. The result of the other is closeness, restoration.

Let me give you an example. Let's say your child disobeys you.

You can, out of frustration and annoyance, yell or threaten impending consequences. You could even calmly but with underlying anger dole out consequences. But do the consequences fit the crime? Do you over do it? What I mean is do you give more than one consequence just to make sure they really get it this time? Or do you extend a loss of privilege much longer than is necessary?

I have not even touched the subject of spanking yet on this blog and maybe I need to. I'll go into it more on another day but today just let me say that spankings given in love and patience are biblical and will change the heart of a child.

In the situation of a child who disobeys, the most loving thing you can do is calmly ask the child to wait for you in their room. If you are angry, PRAY! Do not go in until you are right with Jesus.

When you are ready, go into the child's room, soften your voice and ask him/her, "Did you obey Mommy when I asked you to...?" If they say no, then ask them, "What does God tell children about their parents?" And hopefully one of your child's first memory verses is Ephesians 6:1-3. Then remind them that you love them and you want them to be blessed for honoring you and it is your job to teach them that. Have them lay across your lap or the bed and calmly spank their underwear covered bottom.

Then immediately hug them and tell them again that you love them. At that point I usually ask them what they need to say to Mommy. Then they apologize for disobeying. Tell them they are forgiven. Pray for them and then give the original command again so they have another chance to do the right thing. If they do, praise them.

Ask yourself what your purpose is. Are you really trying to reach your child's heart for Jesus? Or are you just fed up?

Do you forget that you make mistakes too and expect your child to "get it" even when you don't?

Do you forget that you are still alive and well when all you deserve is hell? I do.

Do you point your child to the Cross and to their need for the loving Savior Who died for them and their sin? Or do you point the finger of condemnation?

There is a lot of parenting advice that is pure junk. A lot of it is sold in the Christian bookstore. I don't claim to be an expert but I do know that worldly wisdom has infiltrated our parenting and look where it's gotten us. Godly, Biblical advice is rare.

If you are seeking to train your children in the way they should go but aren't sure where to turn, I highly recommend the Bible first.
Second, two video series Biblical Insights Into Child Training and Beyond Obedience by Reb Bradley as well as his book Child Training Tips
Last, Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp

Schedule Explanation Part II

More schedule talk...If you're wondering why I'm starting with number 4, go to the previous post...

4. I am a morning person. I like to get up early. Noon feels like the day is almost over to me. But don't think I love getting up at 5am. I actually hate it. 6am would be much better for me. But I do it because it's necessary to get in my workout and quiet-time which is necessary to make my PMS not so bad.

I used to not like 6am. But 2 1/2 years ago (before I started going to the gym) I made a New Year's resolution to start getting up at that time so I could have my time in the Word.

All that to say, don't feel bad if you aren't getting up at 5am. But if you think it would help, take it 30 minutes at a time and ask God to help you. He woke me up many times!

5. My schedule is a tool not a rule. What I love about schedules is that I can get so much more done. But I can also change it as needed and still get everything done. For example, last week during Iris' one-on-one time, we ran to the library because it looked like it was going to storm soon. We made it home before the ran and then had our time together during "free time."

Also, I love order. But as much as I love order, I also love change. I can get off schedule one day or two (like going to the beach for a couple of days) and just jump right back in the next day. No big deal.

6. Schedules help a lot with kids. Years ago when I had a skeleton of a schedule, one of the first things I put on it was tv time. Before, the kids would ask all day, "Can we watch tv?" and I would mostly say no so they wouldn't be watching all day. But I got tired of the nagging. After I scheduled it, all I had to say was, "It's not tv time yet." They just seemed to have this easy acceptance like "Oh, of course, it's not tv time yet." They knew they would get it eventually. It just wasn't time then. Soon they learned tv time fell right at the same time every day and they didn't even ask anymore. Now that they have computer time, it's the same thing.

7. Chores - it seems like adding the word "time" to anything just makes it more acceptable to kids. I get much fewer complaints when it is "2 o'clock chore-time" than when I just randomly pull them in to do their work.

8. My computer time - My sister was also wondering if I only get 30 minutes of computer time all day. Well, it would be best, but my hubby has this awesome thing called an i-phone, so during our evening free times I get to jump on and off to read up on emails and blogs. It can be such a time-robber that I try to keep it in check.

Not sure if that cleared everything up or not but hope it helps.

Schedule Explanation Part I

Just wanted to expound on some of my scheduled and non-scheduled events listed in this post:

1. Bathtime/Showers - Why not scheduled? Because I just don't find it necessary to do everyday. I know that totally grosses some of you out. If the kids have been outside playing and are sweaty, they get baths. I rarely sweat, even when I work out, so I only take showers every other day and that's based on what's going on. Like I'll take one Sunday morning before church, then again Monday afternoon before Bible study but probably not again until Wednesday afternoon before church.

2. Quiet-time - My sister was cracking me up after she read the post and said, "There's a lot of quiet-time going on over there!" I personally need a lot of time in the Word or reading books that point me to the Word.

I start my day listening to a sermon on podcast while I put on makeup - usually Mark Driscoll but sometimes Chip Ingram or others. I read my Bible after that.

Midday, I read one of the books I'm in the process of going through. Currently those are:
So Much More by the Botkin sisters or
Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell

At night I read one of those books or Discovering Your Child's Strengths by Jennifer Fox.

Charlie and Iris's quiet time at 10:30am is actually completely different. We originally called it Blanket Time and I'll explain it in more detail later but basically they have to sit quietly on a blanket. They can either play with a toy or two (by themselves) or look at books. But they have to be quiet. Teaches self-control.

3. One-on-One Time - Each child has been assigned a day of the week. Charlie - Monday, Gray - Tuesday, Iris - Wednesday, Jackson - Thursday, Emma - Friday. Those are the days they have their special chores but also those are the days they get 1/2 an hour of computer time and 1/2 an hour of one-on-one time with me. They get to pick however they want to spend our time together - reading to them, playing cards or boardgames, cars, dolls, etc. It just has to be at home.

I'll explain some more things tomorrow...

Monday's Motto

Obedience must be done:

Cheerfully

Right Away

All the Way

No Matter What

First Day and Our Schedule

Well our first day of school went really well! The kids were so excited they started before I even made it in the school room.Of course, my first thought is, "This is not going to work with my new schedule." But I went with it and it turned out fine. We actually finished early even though Bible time went long.

The reason the schedule is important is because of adding Charlie and Iris. I have to work it so the older kids are doing their independent work while I'm working one-on-one with the younger two.

Since Mrs. Jackson had asked about my curriculum and school schedule after this post, I'll go ahead and answer the schedule question now. Curriculum will be another day.

This schedule is new (changes every year) so I haven't work out the kinks yet (changes throughout the year). Here goes anyway...

5:00 - me up and dressed for the gym while listening to sermon on podcast - usually Mark Driscoll
5:30 - quiet time
6:00 - Roddy gets home from gym, I leave for gym; Roddy gets ready for the day and has quiet time
7:00 - *leave gym for home; kids up and start morning chores (by the way, the chore badges were the best idea I've had!)
7:30 - my breakfast & laundry; kids finish morning chores; Roddy leaves for work
8:00 - Bible time (today we set spiritual goals for ourselves, very cool time)
8:30 - Emma's math lesson while Gray and Jay work on math worksheet; then teach the boy's math lesson; Iris and Charlie have free time
9:00 - older kids continue working on math while I teach Charlie and Iris to read and write
9:30 - older kids handwriting; Charlie and Iris math
10:00 - older kids English lesson; younger two free time
10:30 - MWF - Literature (reading classics, asking comprehension questions), Tues - History, Thur - Science; younger two have quiet time in the room with us
11:00 - MWF - Vocab/Spelling, Tues & Thurs - Latin; youngers free then clean up time
11:30 - lunch & laundry
12:00 - read to kids
12:30 - my nap, Iris' nap, MWF - Charlie's nap; older kids read quietly or finish school work
1:00 - snack and tv time; my snack and quiet time
1:30 - my computer time
2:00 - afternoon chores for all
2:30 - one-on-one time with one of the kids; the rest free time
3:00 - computer time for one of the kids; rest free; my project/to-do list time
4:00 - dinner prep & laundry
5:00 - Roddy home, dinner
6:00 - clean up dinner watch Little House as family
7:00 - free, more family time
8:00 - Iris bed, Mommy and Daddy time
8:30 - the rest of the kids in bed
9:00 - my reading/quiet time
9:30 - our bedtime

*I don't go to the gym every day so on those days (like today) I get up at 5:30, get ready, do some exercises, etc.

Well, gotta run! It's 2 o'clock...afternoon chores are waiting :)... But first some pics of our morning:

My ambidextrous daughter coloring with both hands at the same time.

Monday's Motto

Some of our mottos are straight from Scripture...

When words are many, sin is not absent

But he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 10:19

Cleaning Closets

My sister gave me this great idea for cleaning out the clothes in my closet. We always hear if you haven't worn something in a year, get rid of it, right? Well, I can't remember what I've worn in the last year.

So she suggested turning all my clothes hangers backwards so that the hook opens toward me. Every time I wear something, I put it back in with the hanger the right way. At the end of six months I can decide whether to keep or donate the clothes that I haven't worn simply by finding the backwards hangers.

I started in March so I'm anxiously looking forward to September! I'm such a 'what if' girl that I have a hard time getting rid of clothes. This way I'll know I went the whole summer without wearing something and it will be a definite give away!

Monday's Motto

If you're going to do something, do your very best.

School Starts Soon

We're gearing up for school to start in a little over a week. I like to start early because I like to finish early (first week of May). I've thoroughly enjoyed the summer because I've been able to get a lot of projects done that I am just not motivated to do after schooling in the mornings during the school year. I'm a morning person, so most of my energy and ambition start early and wane as the day goes on.

As much as I've loved the ease of the summer break, I am also really looking forward to school again. I love the routine. I love teaching them (most of the time). I love that, Lord willing, Charlie will learn to read this year. And maybe Iris. I'm going to have her sit with us during his lessons.

I love that I have the freedom to have them home with me. That I don't have to send them off for someone else - who can't possibly love them as much as I do - influence them 8 hours a day.

I love that I don't have to be away from them all day and when they do come home have to fight the battle of untraining all the junk they pick up when they're around other kids hour after hour, day after day.

I love that because I get to spend so much time with them, I get to know them better than anyone else. I don't need someone else to tell me what they're good at or what they are struggling with in school. When they excel, I get to let them soar rather than holding them back with a room full of other kids. And when they struggle, I get to give them the one-on-one attention they need. They don't have to get by because the rest of the class needs to move on.

I love that I get to talk about God all day. That I get to tell them how He is in everything they learn. That He created everything they learn.

I love that I get to socialize them. I think it's funny that the number one question/argument against homeschooling is socialization but in school kids are segregated by age and subjected to bullying and teasing and peer pressure. I'll take teaching my kids how to love God and love others at home with siblings and friends and cousins and grandparents and nursing home residents of all ages over that any day!

Is homeschooling always easy? Absolutely NOT!

Is it worth the sacrifice of "me-time" and projects done to invest my life in theirs? ABSOLUTELY YES!

My kids were jump-roping to the Cinderella Dressed in Yellow song. Since I didn't like the part about going upstairs to kiss the fellow, we changed it up a little. Here's our new wording:

Cinderella dressed in yellow
Went upstairs to eat some jello.
Made a mistake and ate some cake.
How many pieces did she take?

Monday's Motto

I thought it would be fun if each Monday we shared our family or personal mottos. For example,

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

{Obviously proper grammar is not necessary.}

Most of our mottos are ones we've stolen, I mean adopted, from others.

This next one Mr. Bradley taught us:

Work hard,

Work fast,

Don't stop,

Look for more.

What is a motto you want to share this Monday?

Not Yet

No, I'm not pregnant yet.

I've been asked quite a few times in the last week if I'm pregnant. I thought since I put you through all of this, I should at least update you on our progress.

The first month was the worst. To say I was obsessed would be putting it mildly. With every twinge and pain I had thoughts like, I must be pregnant. That must be implanting. My uterus must be growing already!

I didn't even wait to see if my period was going to start. I took one test several days early - hey, it said EARLY detection. I asked Roddy to hide the other one so I couldn't find it. Then I talked him into giving it to me the night before my period.

All I had to do was wait 8 hours and I would have known! Now I've asked him not to even buy me a test until I miss my period.

The last two months have been much better. I assume I'm not pregnant - or atleast try to tell myself that - so I won't be disappointed. Okay so I will be disappointed but let's face it, for someone who has never had a hard time getting pregnant, this has been a change.

But I know it's all about trusting God and letting go of my death grip on the control I want to have.

Good learning experience, right?!

I'll keep you posted...

PC, Specks, and Logs

Here are my ponderings about my last post:

I was thinking about why we don't automatically talk to someone ~ especially believers ~ about using God's name in vain. And I was thinking that in reality we don't reprove anyone for anything anymore.

Galatians 6:1 says,

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression,

you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

Maybe we don't consider ourselves spiritual. We start thinking about Matthew 7:3-7:

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

And instead of doing something about our log we just ignore it along with the speck in our brother's/sister's eye. Then no one is better off.

Maybe we don't reprove each other because we don't want to hear it ourselves. We don't like to be corrected and told when we're doing something wrong. I mean, really, who enjoys that? I don't. But Proverbs 15:31-33 says,

The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.

Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

Maybe we just don't want to offend anyone. We live in a world overrun with political correctness. We're considered narrow-minded if we believe so strongly about something that we would actually impose that belief on someone else. Is it possible that we've come to believe that it is wrong to offend someone by speaking the truth of God's Word - even to believers?

Galatians talks about pleasing God rather than man. Who are we pleasing?

And in all honesty, there are times I'm asked directly for my advice about parenting and shy away from telling someone what I really think. While I have no problem telling you what to do in specific situations, if you ask me what I think about your parenting or kids I have a hard time spilling it. I don't want to offend.

So what are we to do?

1. Exam our own lives on a daily basis. Ask God to reveal the logs in our own eyes.

2. When it is necessary to speak to someone we should always consider our timing and motives.

3. Speak the truth in love.

Hallowed Be Thy Name

Got a question for you. I was prompted to ask based on this post.

First, do you use the Lord's name in vain? Do you say, "Oh my ~~~!" (I can't even type it.) If so, why?

Once when I was very young I heard some friends use the expression. So like most kids, I tried it out too. My dad was careful to correct me and said we shouldn't even say gosh. I took it to heart. So much so that I would rarely even say God in respectful conversation about Him.

Third Commandment:

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain,

for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain."

Second, should we say something to those who use His name in vain? If so, what?

Should we say anything to unbelievers?

I would love to have a Christ-like, God-honoring response especially to believers. So think about it and let me know what you think. Thanks!!

Bible-Time

After reading this post, Mrs. Schultz asked, "...do they do independent Bible reading or is that as a family/ or both?"

Answer: The kids who can read have their own Bible-time as part of their morning "chores". I use the term chore loosely because I don't consider Bible reading a chore. During their time, they pick what they want to read. When they come and ask me if they are free I usually ask them what they read and what they think it means. Sometimes I give a quick explanation if I think they need help understanding it. I have really enjoyed these quick wisdom lessons I get to have with them.

I don't place any expectations on their time. Sometimes they will only read one verse. I'm okay with that. This is their time. Sometimes all God wants is for us to focus on one verse. Other times, they may pick a whole chapter. I don't want someone dictating my time with the Lord so I don't dictate theirs.

After morning chores we all gather - even the little ones (who aren't so little anymore) - for Bible-time that I lead. Usually we sit on the floor in my room since that is where we keep the Bibles and the books that we use during our time. Everyone has a Bible to look up the verse or verses we'll read.

During this time we review the books of the Bible and/or the verses we're memorizing together. Then we either read from one of our Bible-time books, looking up Scripture to go with it, or I pick a topic that I think needs to be discussed and we look up scripture to go along with that.

Of course, I always end our time in prayer. I encourage each child to pray but don't force it. Then I pray last.


Books I use? Hands down, my all-time favorite is Wisdom and the Millers, although I love the whole Miller Family Series of books. We call it Miller Time! Hee hee!

Also, The Original 21 Rules of This House and Our 24 Family Ways are great.

Sometimes I'll read The Squire and The Scroll as we talk about guarding our hearts by guarding our eyes, ears and mouths.

If you aren't starting your day in the Word you're missing out. There is a noticeable difference when I think I can just skip it for the day because other matters seem more pressing.

If you homeschool, this should be your first "class." Someone said, "Well, we do devotions together as a family at night (when the husband is home)." Great! But you also need to start your day with the Word.

If your kids go to school, take time during breakfast. I have a friend who is adamant about getting up in time to have devotions with her kids before school. It can be done. It just needs to be a priority.

You will see the benefits!

"Stinking Thinking"

"Anxiety attacks, depression, somber moods, feelings of not being in control of your mind, unfounded fears, and bursts of anger all start in the mind. They are what you have allowed yourself to become through your 40,000 daily thoughts. By reacting the same way repeatedly, you establish habits that become so much a part of you that they may seem to be organic--a part of your physical make-up.

Stinking thinking is an addiction that will grow into such a habit that it controls the body and deceives the mind." ~Debi Pearl

When I read this I was struck. I don't know how many times I have read or heard:

~as a man/woman thinks so is he/she.

~out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

I know that the way I think is how I will act. But I interpreted this concept as whatever I think or believe about something, is how I will act, rather than the individual thoughts that pop into my head throughout the day determining how I will act or react.

Let me give you an example. I think/believe that we should be patient with our children. I believe taking the time to train them should be a top priority.

Yesterday, Iris did something that needed correction. The thought that immediately ran through my head was I don't have time for this. Well if that is my thought, that I don't have time for this, I am going to either act frustrated that I have to deal with it or I'm going to battle my own flesh to maintain patient composure to deal with it.

Because I had just read the quote above, I immediately realized my wrong thought and corrected myself with Yes, you do have time for this! This is all you have time for right now.

It was much easier to focus on lovingly training my daughter when my thinking was right. Otherwise, I would have corrected her as quickly as possible and moved on - back to what I wanted to be doing.

...and take every thought captive to obey Christ...

II Corinthians 10:5b

Grab those sinful, selfish thoughts as soon as they pop into your mind. Throw them out and replace them with God-pleasing thoughts. Replace the habit of negative thinking with a habit of godly thinking that will change your life.

Blessings for Blessings

Luke 6:38 Jesus said,

"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."

I almost cried when we got the mail yesterday. Emma received a package and Jay an envelope. When they were opened they revealed blessings for their blessings.

Some one of you sweet people blessed Emma with a brand new, never before opened Bible. Just like the one she worked so hard for and gave away.

And Jay's wallet is full again with money (more than he gave) that was wrapped in a sweet note which read,

"Jackson, God bless you for helping the children of Haiti." and was signed, "A friend of God's."

Makes me want to cry again. Truly you are a friend of God's!

Thank you!