Monday's Motto

Live like no one else now,

so you can live like no one else later.

~Dave Ramsey~

This week I'm focusing on finances/money. We are going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with some friends. Loving it. I recommend it to anyone.

What he means by the above is that everyone else (or most people) live beyond their means financially. They buy things they can't afford to impress people they don't really like. Or they just don't have the self-control to stay out of debt. Credit card debt, auto debt and student loans are rampant!!

Dave says if you can't pay cash for it, don't buy it.

After going through bankruptcy 20 years ago, he has only used cash and doesn't even have credit cards. He says the FICO score is really your "I love debt" score.

He is now a multi-millionaire and actually paid back all the debts he was cleared of when he filed bankruptcy - even the banks.

He says we should live below our means now (like no one else) and pay off debt, save 3-6 months expenses, etc. (see Baby Steps). Then one day you will be able to live like no one else because you will be financially secure.

You can also listen to him on the radio or on-line. He's on our local radio station for several hours starting at 3:00 every afternoon. I'm addicted. The kids even ask to listen.

He's also got a book called The Total Money Makeover.

Come back tomorrow to hear one of our money stories...

Monday's Motto

Hospitality is this:

What we have received from the Lord,
we gladly share with you.

This was one of the quotes from last Monday's "Evenings with Victoria Botkin." Her point was that as mothers we have seasons. If you have young ones at home, this may not be the time for Martha Stewart entertaining. It's the season for adding an extra plate at the table for mac-n-cheese. It's fellowship while folding laundry.

Gotta tell ya, that is extremely freeing for me!

Book It Program

Pizza Hut has this cool little program we've taken advantage of for a couple years now.  It's for kids in kindergarten through sixth grade.  They send you 6 free personal pan pizza tickets per child enrolled.

You and/or your child set reading goals and at the end of each month, they are rewarded for reaching those goals with a free one-topping personal pan pizza.

Go here to enroll.

Exposed

I read a lot of blogs. Not all of them daily, but some - my favorites. I have often wondered of those writers whom I don't actually know what they are really like.

I'm an analyzer. I like to know why people are the way they are. If I know more about a person's temperamant, life experiences, even birth order, it helps me understand them better and I like to know what makes people tick!

So I thought maybe if you read this blog and don't know me, you might wonder the same things I have wondered about others. From time to time, I will share with you some things about me that might help you understand who I really am, why I write what I write and why I write how I write. These posts will all be titled: Exposed.

Expose means to make known, reveal or unmask. Which is something I need to do more of.

I'll start by saying I fear rejection and criticism. I'm sure after each of these posts I will completely doubt whether I should have exposed myself. I don't like vulnerability. And while some of you may read the posts and think that's what you consider being vulnerable? Trust me, for me it will be.

I am bold and confident in some ways. I don't mind what anyone thinks of my beliefs, convictions or the way I live my life (which is a result of my beliefs and convictions). What I fear is personal rejection. Not being liked for who I am. Not being accepted because of my imperfections. Even being rejected based on perceptions of who people think I am.

I would love to uncover all my sins and weaknesses, quirks, failures and ugliness and not care about what someone thinks of me, but at this point in my life that feels impossible!

I have just learned in the last couple years that God accepts and loves me unconditionally. That I don't have to be perfect for Him to see me as lovable. And that has been extremely freeing. One day I hope that I can care only about what He thinks of me. I think that would be ultimate freedom.

Until then, perhaps this will be my therapy. My own personal counseling group, consisting of me and a bunch of faces I can't see.

And just maybe exposing one piece at a time won't be so frightening.

Mediocrity - A Word Picture

I heard this story once in a sermon on the radio...

A couple of teenagers came to their dad and said, "Dad, can you sit down? We need to talk to you.

"There's this movie we really want to see. It's rated R and I know we aren't allowed to see R rated movies but we asked around about it. There are only a few bad words, no big deal. And one sex scene ~ but it's more implied, off to the side.

"It's got fantastic special effects, though, and some great actors. Come on, Dad. Let us go. We don't want to be nerds! Can we go, please?"

Dad thought and said, "Let me think it over for a day."

The next day arrives and the teens ask, "Dad, did you decide about the movie?"

"I did," he says. "And you can see it."

Just then he brings out a batch of fresh baked brownies and says, "But first I want you to eat these brownies I made for you. I chose the finest ingredients ~ the best chocolate, freshest walnuts. And they are so moist!

"I should tell you, though, I put a tablespoon of dog poo in them. It not much and I baked them perfectly at 350 degrees so I'm sure it killed any bacteria."

Do you think the teens ate the brownies? There wasn't that much dog poo compared to all the good stuff that was in them ~ just like the movie they wanted to see.

So if we saw the sin in the things we digest mentally and spiritually literally as dog poo, we might be less apt to partake. Don't you think?

Monday's Motto

Our greatest distraction to our devotion for God

is our service for Him.

~Oswald Chambers

In other words, we can get so wrapped up in minstries, serving and doing, that it is actually a distraction to our relationship with Him.

Book and On-Line Mentoring Recommendations

Have you ever heard the expression:  It's like drinking from a fire hydrant?

That's how I feel about this book...

I have taken a really long time to read it because I have to keep stopping to process what I've just read!

I have highlighted so much of the book that Roddy said I should just highlight the stuff I don't want to remember because that might be easier.

If you have come to a point in your life where you no longer want to follow the culture and you want to know how the ways of the world have subtly crept into your mindset, I encourage you to read this book.  It will challenge your thinking greatly!

Here's an example:

...until we understand the relationship between mankind and womankind as God created them, and the way we can together reflect the image and glory of God, we can't fully understand what it really means to be women or how we can best serve God as women.

Another:

Women have really only two ways of relating to men: helping them lead poorly, for Satan's glory, or helping them lead well, for God's glory.

Just one more:

Throughout history, men have had to bear only the curse God gave directly to them.  They work hard to provide for and protect their families.  They don't bear children. In our society, women are freely embracing a double curse--the curse of the man (difficulty in providing) in addition to the curse of the woman (pain in childbirth).

Okay, last one:

The first ridiculers of homemaking were not ordinary women who had found a better, more fulfilling path.  The ridiculers were the same Marxists...who knew there would be no cultural transformation if mothers continued to strengthen Christian civilization from their strong positions of influence in the home.  They didn't want wives helping their husbands.  They didn't want mothers training their children.  They didn't want mothers teaching their children anything.

The mother of the girls who wrote this book is hosting an on-line mentoring series starting Monday evening, March 1, called "Evenings with Victoria Botkin." 

It sounds pricey but divided up comes to a little more than $5a week.  If you're interested, go here or here, to find out more. 

Fear Factor

Several weekends ago I went to a seminar called Refuse to Be a Victim. The purpose of the seminar is to make people more aware of their surroundings in order to avoid becoming a victim of some kind of violence.

I consider myself pretty careful. I lock my doors as soon as I get in the car. I don't run errands by myself at night. Things like that. I think God gives us common sense and we need to use it. But as careful as I am, I don't consider myself fearful.

I trust God to take care of us. If I ever do have a twinge of fear, I immediately say a prayer and trust that God is going to control the situation.

Well after this little 4-hour seminar, I left fearful. And I didn't like it. I said to myself, "I need to go home and read my Bible." It's my security blanket.

And it was the one thing that was left out of the seminar. Expectedly so, since it is a program of the NRA. I don't have issue with that. But it was a fellow Christian teaching it. So while I appreciated the information, I can not get away from the fact that although I certainly think we should be careful and aware, etc., we should NOT live our lives in fear. As followers of Christ, we know Who is in control!

An opportunity arose last year for the men in our Sunday School class to take some men from the Coalition bowling. These were men going through one of their programs. Our guys were going to pick them up and return them at the end of the evening. One of the men was so worried about "something" happening. If people didn't serve because something might happen, we'd have no missionaries overseas or downtown!

Please hear me...I am not a careless person who will stop on the side of the road to help any and every stranger. I wouldn't go to the Coalition and pick up a homeless man by myself to bring him to church. I don't let my kids play outside unsupervised. We don't run with scissors or lollipops in our mouths!

But there has got to be a point when we, exercising appropriate caution and listening to the Holy Spirit, put our lives completely in God's hands and trust Him to take care of us in any circumstance.

I think my sister-in-law put it best when my brother was in Papua New Guinea last month. She said, "Being in the ministry is the safest place for us to be in."

Well said, Kara!

(My handsome brother with the natives. He bought the bow and arrows from that gentleman after it was used to kill dinner!)

Trading Spaces

During our 2 week winter break from school, we did a little rearranging of rooms. This is the girls' room before we moved them across the hall into the old playroom. This is their part of their new room. We still haven't finished hanging wall decorations. After I do that, I'll take more pics. Emma and Iris picked out a new color for the walls: Purple Dragon. Everyone helped paint. We turned their old room into a closet/dressing room! All the kids clothes are now in one place, organized, of course, by color! Dresses, skirts, pants. Short sleeve shirts, (forgive the lighting)...long sleeve shirts and coats. The dressers hold pjs and shorts. And the empty rack on top is for hanging clothes to dry. The closet is holding clothes being stored for future wear. I love it!

We divided the toys from the playroom between the boys' closet and the girls' closet. They share, though, because the girls like Legos and the boys like the Littlest Pet Shop and the kitchen stuff.

Blog Award!

You love me! You really, really love me!

Okay, so at least Tyler loves me. She gave me a blog award! I love winning stuff.And I would like to accept this award and thank all 5 of my fans. I'd also like to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, as well as my loving husband and adoring children! My parents and in-laws, siblings and their spouses. My faithful friends and kind neighbors. And last but not least, my pet chicken! Without you all, this award would not be possible!

Hee hee hee!!! I always wanted to make an acceptance speech. Thanks, Tyler, for the opportunity!

You Could Win!

But I really want to win so please visit but don't enter!! Okay, I know that's wrong and selfish of me.

Tyler is hosting a 500th post party and we're all invited to join in. She's offering door prizes, too.

Head on over to Tyler's blog, Titus 2:3-5!

That's titus2345.blogspot.com!

Monday's Motto

The measure of your love for God

is equal to your obedience to Him.

Inspiring

When I went to read my Bible this morning I remembered it was downstairs. So being lazy, I decided to borrow Roddy's. After looking up a couple verses I had on my mind that I wanted to share with the kids later, I turned to Proverbs 19.


At the bottom of the page I saw this...


I can take no credit for this. God gave me a husband who encourages me all the time. He's a perfect example of love hopes all things. He praises me for things I am not. And because he does that, it makes me want to be those things.


I want to live up to the positive expectations he has for me. His words speak life to me.


I would never claim to be a prudent wife, but if my husband thinks I am, I'm inspired to live up to that.


Now, how am I going to inspire him with my words? or my children?

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

and those who love it, will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 18:21

What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?

Remember those silly pizza commercials that asked that question?

Have you ever really thought what you want on your actual tombstone?

I told you about my widow friend and how her situation inspires me not to take my husband for granted.

Well she just posted recently on their blog. Of course, I cried again. This is an excerpt of what she wrote about being faced with what to put on her husband's tombstone.

I have been waiting to order Kevin’s headstone. I just kept waiting for God to give me just the right thing to put on it. Have you ever thought about what you would want your loved ones to put if you only had one or two sentences to write to sum up your life? It has made me really think about what is important in this life. While in West Virginia, Aunt Evelyn mentioned a verse to me that I had not yet thought of. I had chills after she said it and I knew that was the one I was to use.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I took a deep breath, grabbed my Bible and walked into the granite store. I sat down with the nice lady and began to place my order. I had decided to do a photo etching of Kevin with a Bible verse underneath. When she asked me what I wanted on his headstone, I opened up my Bible, gave her the picture that I carry of him, and turned to the verse in second Timothy. My eyes filled with tears as I read the verse, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Half way through the lady realized that I was not going to be able to finish reading it. She graciously took my Bible from me and finished writing the verse. Wow. Through the years I have picked out so many things for Kevin. I just never thought I would have to do this. I believe it will be beautiful though, and after it comes in I will be sure to post some pictures for those if you who do not live close.

What will be said about me? What do I want to be said about me? This needs to be the filter by which I make all decisions in my life. This needs to be the catalyst for how I will live my life.

Lessons From My 10 Year Old

My daughter is a special girl. And I'm not just biased. She really is.

She teaches her mama things. This past week, she taught me about these verses:

"But I say to you who hear,

Love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you,

bless those who curse you,

pray for those who abuse you."

Luke 6:27-28

She has a friend that she sees often.  This friend has given Emma lots of opportunities to practice things we have taught her ~ specifically patience and forgiveness with pettiness and standing up for her brothers by refusing to leave them out.

Well for some reason, this friend has decided she wants to make Emma jealous. She says things to her like, "{Angie} is my very best friend and you are just my friend." or even "{Angie} doesn't like you." (Seriously? Who doesn't like Emma?)

On a side note - this is just another reason I'm glad I homeschool...so my kids don't have to put up with this kind of crap every day.

Anyway, there were a couple of days within a week's time when this little girl was just down-right unkind. Emma talked to me about it after I asked her what was going on the first day. I told her we should be thankful for this experience because there are going to be many more girls who will come into her life and treat her the same way. This is an opportunity for her to practice rising above and acting like Jesus would want her to, despite what someone else does to her.

So what did my daughter do? She made pretty little hearts from clay for her unkind friend and for {Angie} as Valentine's gifts.

She wasn't petty or rude. She didn't retaliate with words. She held no grudge.

Instead, she blessed when she was cursed. She was kind to one who was unkind.

Monday's Motto

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Just because we can give our children things or take them places, doesn't mean we should. 
Just because we can give our children options for meals, doesn't mean we should.

We live in America. The majority of us are overindulged - our kids are no exception.

Learning to do without is not a bad thing.

Obviously, I don't mean never do any of the above.  But think about it.  When are your kids the most discontent or show the most greediness?  Birthdays and Christmas?  What do they have in common?  Getting stuff and going places. 

Just something to think about.

Monday's Motto

"Don't say you're not going to do something just because it's hard."

Had this conversation with one of my children over math.  She said she wasn't going to go to college because she didn't want to have to do math.

I told her I didn't mind if she didn't go to college. I want her to do whatever God wants her to do.  But I told her not to say she wouldn't do something just because it's hard.  She may miss out on many other blessings.

Every day of my life, I regret that Roddy had a vasectomy because I thought having another child would be too hard.  Fortunately, I got Iris anyway.  But how many blessings have I missed out on because I said having another child would be too hard?

If I could have one do-over in my life, it would be that.  Oh the regrets.

Wanna Be Part III

Here's Part I and Part II

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

Friendly
Encouraging
Affectionate
Rejoices with the Truth
Serves

Teachable
Helpful
Ever Understanding

Loving
Overlooks Offenses
Respectful
Deferential

Loving - I Corinthians 13

Jesus told us the greatest commandment right after loving the Lord is loving others.  I Corinthians 13 not only reinforces Jesus' words and the necessity of love but also tells us what love looks like in action. 

And the love it talks about, has nothing to do with feelings.  Love is a choice on our part, despite our feelings, to be patient and kind.  It is a choice not to be rude or insist on our own way.

Overlooks Offenses - Proverbs 10:12, 17:9a, 19:11

Hatred stirs up strife,

but love covers all offenses.

Whoever covers an offense seeks love...

Good sense makes one slow to anger,

and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Am I quick to get angry or to forgive?  Do I hold a grudge or overlook an offense?  If I get angry, or hold a grudge, it's really just me being selfish and insisting on my own way.

I also need to be careful to take the beam out my own eye before I insist my husband takes the speck out of his. 

Am I choosing to dwell on the things my husband may do to offend or am I choosing to dwell on all the positives?

Respectful - Ephesians 5:33b

...and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I recommend the Love and Respect book by Emerson Eggerichs.  Very eye-opening. 

Respect is another God-given need of our husbands'.  And it not to be given conditionally.  Ephesians doesn't say, if the husband loves the wife as Christ loves the church, then she should show respect.  Again, as with love, respect isn't about our feelings.  It's about our actions.

Deferential - Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

So deferential is just a fancy word (that fit because it starts with a D) for submissive.  Submitting to our hubbies is a command, not a suggestion. 

My husband says submission is more about my heart than actions or words.  Meaning: if I disagree with him over a decision he's made, but I appeal to him respectfully and with the right heart, I am still in obedience to the Lord.  But if I come with my own agenda and a selfish heart, or if I nag and pout, I am not obeying the Lord.

If he makes a decision that turns out to be the wrong one but I submit with a right heart, I believe there is actually more protection for my family than if I insisted and got my way. 

If you want a word picture for submission, go here.


Well, that's it - although not really.  These are just a few of the areas I wanna be a better wife for my awesome husband.  Thankfully, neither he nor God have given up on me yet!

Wanna Be Part II

If you'd like to read Part I, go here...

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

Friendly
Encouraging
Affectionate
Rejoices with the Truth
Serves

Teachable
Helpful
Ever Understanding

Loving
Overlooks Offenses
Respectful
Deferential

Teachable - Proverbs 9:9

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;

teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

To me, this may be one of the most important character qualities I'd like to have and see in my girls and future girls-in-law.  Because, if we are teachable, then we are willing to grow in all the other areas.  If we are teachable, we will seek to be more like Him.  We will desire to grow closer to Him.  And in that growing closer, we grow in all kinds of ways. 

If we are teachable we will seek out Godly resources that will strengthen our walks, strengthen our marriages, and strengthen our parenting.  We will be willing to go through trials knowing there is a purpose and benefit - growth, strength of characer, perserverence, perspective. (James 1:2-4)

Helpful - Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord said, {Who said?}

"It is not good {it is not what?} that the man should be alone;

I will make a helper {that's me, and you} fit for him."

This is what we were created for!  Oh if we could just embrace this fact, we would be a lot better off.  If we could silence the lies of feminism, we could be FREE!  Free to live out God's role for us with joy. And if you don't think you have feminist views swirling around in your head, well...that's a post for another day.

Practically lived out, this is seeking to put your husband before yourself.  It's finding out what is helpful to him.  And what is helpful to my husband may be very different from what is helpful to yours.  So, what's a wife to do? Ask.  Ask him what you can do that would take some weight off his shoulders.  What you could do to lift a burden for him.  And then do it cheerfully - just like you want your kids to do things for you - with a sweet attitude and smile.

Ever Understanding - Proverbs 18:2, 20:5

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

but only in expressing his opinion.

The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water,

but a {woman} of understanding will draw it out.

Do I try to understand my husband's point of view?  Do I try to understand his God-given temperment?  Do I try to understand who he is or what he desires?  Do I try to understand his vision for our future? Or do I just want him to understand me?  Often, I am guilty of expressing my own opinion without trying to understand his.


Part III to come...shortly, I promise.

Still Here

I'm still here. We were in North Carolina Saturday and Sunday. Then Georgia Monday and Tuesday.

I've got loads of laundry...actually nothing new.

We have our 4th parenting class tonight. It's going very well so far. Every one seems excited about what they are learning.

We're two weeks away from our next dinner for the WRCC and I only have 3 families signed up to serve so far. This is in contrast to the 11 we had last time. So I've got to work on that.

And I'm mostly done with the post for Wanna Be Part II - aka character qualities of the wife I wanna be! So hopefully I can get that out soon.

Not to mention homeschooling, homemaking, flag football for the boys, and Gray's birthday in a week and a half! Yikes!

I'll catch up soon...